So this is what Lady Gaga meant…

I never listened to the whole “Do What ya want wit mah baaawdy” song, but I get it now. I think. ‘cause Vogue and then Versace did exactly that – what ads do best – retouching her “baaawday” and eradicating blemishes until homegirl was unrecognizable. I’d ask why we all keep playing along and trying to emulate what’s fake. But I can’t. For two reasons: 1. I’m still totally addicted.. Read More

Look what SCIENCE found! Another earth!

Goldilocks was a lucky ass bitch. All she had to do was forage for porridge and then determine which mattress to steal for her nap. Like most self-entitled American princesses, she didn’t have to worry about stuff like “Find oxygen, water, and habitable temperatures”. In that way, we’re all pretty lucky. For now. We get to breathe air. That’s a pretty big goddamned deal. But many moons from now (waves.. Read More

Adams Family Veges

So I woke up today and (of course) checked my phone first to see if anyone loves me (because I base my self worth on things like social media approval-stamping and personalized email messages). And this’s what I saw: Not looking at the locale (does siri just spin the globe and add a random place to the temp list?), both parts of my brain starting analyzing the information it was.. Read More

“The wandering mind’s not always lost”

Tried to watch “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” for the second time last week. Ben, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m sure it’s a great film, but it’s next-level inception depressing just how “it’s me” the issue is. The whole movie’s concept is the “me issue” – I gave this film a second go, and ya wanna know what happened? I started… daydreaming. And missed like… all of it… Read More