Gone with the moniker

Back in elementary school, we had those “how’d your parents name you?” discussions. I remember hating these convos because my own moniker was inspired by a fictional man in a classic movie called Gone With the Wind. In an act of defiance against being named in such an insulting and unsexy way (not only was he a dude but one who kinda looks like Kenneth from 30 Rock), I vowed.. Read More

Mantis vs. hummingbird – who wins?

Mmmkay, class. Starting off class with a nature documentary today. Was it wrong of this guy to interfere with nature? Some have compared this to slapping a cheeseburger out of someone’s hands. I feel like that’s a stupid analogy because the cheeseburger isn’t mooing for its life anymore. We’ve neatly cleaned our hands of that task by allowing the slaughterhouse to do the work. If this mantis were about to.. Read More

How much are your organs worth?

Ever woken up in a tub of ice, plus one scar and minus one kidney? I’m lucky that this inconvenient side effect of being young and dumb and drunk and hanging out with questionable Europeans providing questionable recreationals in questionable locales – was never one I experienced. In fact, as I sift through my historical chronological baton-pass of bad decisions that was my lifestyle choice for so long, I come.. Read More

Rise of the maize-chines

I get confused about Frankenfood. When I hear the word “GMO”, I think “Monsanto”. And when I think of the ominous “Monsanto”, I imagine the HQ factory being located in a castle atop a windy hill, behind creaky iron gates, where the backdrop is always either a dramatic thunderstorm or dark clouds forebodingly prepared to transform into one at any given moment. And, naturally, an unnatural field of corn and.. Read More