Apparently I’m the mad hatter IRL

My dad always says to open with a joke. So we’ll start with one I just made: Patron to waiter: “Knock knock.” Waiter: “Who’s there?” Patron: “Chamomile.” Waiter: “Chamomile who?” Patron: “Chamomile come any faster? I’m starving…” *Ba dum tissss* (Surely that’s been made up somewhere, sometime prior to now. But we’ll pretend it wasn’t.) My ridiculous opener is meant to illustrate one of my most salient character defects: impatience… Read More

Not sure if fail… or win.

You never know where the clickable online rabbit hole will take you after a long day. Like where I ended up the other night while sitting down for some mindless interwebz after going a million miles a second all day from sunup to sundown: watching this ridiculous video. Its title was something like: “Tips for how to make a man adore you.” You might think I was hoping to pick.. Read More

Next level web spying? Or technological serendipity?

You know, the current gov’ment spy level is unsettling as it is. It’s bad enough when you log into YouTube or Facebook and are suddenly greeted with a sidebar or interjected ads about that thing you were just Googling yesterday. It’s like the evil “delete browser history” workaround – which we all think we’re so smart when we do, until your matriarch wife hops on your laptop for some research.. Read More

Who says ridiculous talk shows aren’t insightful?

I realized three things when I mistakenly turned from the news to Dr. Phil today: 1.) Why am I watching this? (less a realization; more a serious moral self-inquiry, really.) 2.) He’s kinda just Jerry Springer with more credentials and less hair. 3.) I now get the real reason I’m not married or planning to be anytime soon. You see, the show was on cheaters, mistresses, and the like. IKR?.. Read More

Of course nut.

Louis CK has this great bit that he does-…. (Okay. Okay. I know I always reference him, but bear with me – ‘cause you’ll like this one….) So, he has this bit where he plays an appallingly delightful devil’s advocate about serious issues. And it’s appalling for the same reason it’s delightful and funny: ‘cause it’s true. It starts with an “Of course ABC should happen – because it’s morally.. Read More