#30daysofnewthings: breathe and strike a pose

If I regret anything about tattoos, it’s that I didn’t get another one. Don’t worry – I’m only half serious. But had I gotten another, it’d have definitely been a watch on my wrist that says “JUST BREATHE, BITCH.” As a chronic spastic, I have so much trouble remembering the first rule of life club: breathe. Suck in air. Push it out. It’s so simple, yet I find myself suffering.. Read More

Why Dunkin’s painted bio-hazard colors

“When did Dunkin’ Donuts go full orange?” I wondered this out loud the other day, while driving past the infamous fast food sugar joint. This place has been up in my hometown since I was a kid, and its design’s always been an even mix of pink and orange – not this new sunset colored theme. “It looks like Auto Parts store. Or a biohazard bin,” I thought. And it.. Read More

#FindDancingMan: Cruelty turned into kindness by life-winners.

“Y’can sit here if ya want to…” It was such an effing heartwarming moment in my childhood – hearing Forrest Gump get his first friend invitation en route to school. That iconic movie moment’s always stuck with me (along with a litany of other over-uttered lines issued from everyone I know in their best and lowest laryngeal tone). And it’s always what comes to mind when I see and hear.. Read More

Why so much red tape, Red Cross? And everyone else?

Yeah, I do service work, sometimes. But my motives are totes selfish. Typically, I use volunteering as a way to get out of my own self-conjured sorrow cycle. Seeing other people and listening to their problems helps me A.) feel less alone about feeling shitty. B.) use it as some horrible internal measuring stick to remind myself how good I have it. C.) Possibly come away with someone liking me.. Read More

Next up in weirdAF shit news: Can we feel cell phone waves?

Ever check your phone at exactly double-zero o’ clock? Or text someone right when they’re texting you – not in mid convo? And – to make weird weirder – their message relates to what you were gonna say to them? Technology coincidences are nada new for me – especially with respect to specific folk. And recently, there’s a new one to add to that list: whether something in my brain.. Read More

My personality’s too big for one bucket. Yours pro’lly is too.

I love these little images. It’s like that one with the cup half full or half empty versus the “realist” saying, “Wait, is that piss in this cup?” But, somehow, there’s something about this particular image that helps clarify which, if any, of the three genres I or anyone I know fits into. Are you an optimist? Do you try to see the best in things? A pessimist, always seeking.. Read More

#30daysofnewthings: Why I got this tattoo

I was just finishing up my morning writing Friday when I realized… “It’s Friday the 13th. And I’ve never celebrated it.” Immediately the novelty center that is the eye of the storm of this cerebral insanity in which I reside, began to speak to me – demanding we accomplish something new today – however small. A haunted tour? An abandoned house with a dark and homicidal backstory? There is a.. Read More

Waiting for my train to come in…

Some people wait their whole lives for their ship to come in. I, personally, just want my train to come in. Specifically, this one: It’s funny, I was actually talking to my first and last tattoo artist about this yesterday as he installed an itty bitty heart on my ring finger – how much fun it can be riding public transit trains. While I’d love this to happen to me.. Read More