Ahhh, you thought I’d given up – didn’t you?

Thought I couldn’t finish a month long challenge, eh?

Wrong. I just haven’t been posting shiz (#slacker). But no worries. We’ll catchya up.

Actually, though, between catching the flu and suffering from a lifelong chronic condition of because:lazy – there were some days that I came thisclose to skipping on my #30daysofnewthings challenge (which, according to Ken-the-creator’s rules I decided to live by, would negate the whole thing). And, really, I dunno how the dude managed it for a full 365; but if I had to guess, it’s like a positive spin on addiction’s one-day-at-a-time rule. Sure, you map out a few future things and register for a few qi-gong courses in advance; but for the most part, ya only worry about figuring out today’s challenge today. And some of the “new” experiences aren’t gonna be superstellar – but that’s not the point (ask him; he’ll tell you); however small the #newthing was, when I did it, I could feel my mind Andy Dufresne-ing outta its crystallized prison I’d incarcerated my neurons into. In fact, normally I’d hafta google the Shawshank protagonist’s name. Not today! Thus, it’s fair to conclude I’ve even gotten a hair smarter (#boldclaims.)

Now then, shall we review?

Let’s start with the ides of March.

Well, a little past the “ides” – but it sounds good ‘n mystical when I describe it that way.

Especially given the OBE hypnosis I tried around that time:

I also donned a new cap for the first time in literally ever to go jogging.

(Don’t ask me why that was such a big deal for me – but it was.)

As for the OBE? It was pretty much amazing. For the first part of it, you feel a little like your body’s an old school pager. Remember them buzzing away and slowly dancing off your night stand? Yeah, that’s kinda what your soul does from inside’a your meat marionette: vibrates away until your intangible body contents shake loose and go off to do god knows what. For me, I remember the hypnosis ending and thinking “Ah, crap. Didn’t work.” But then, I fell “asleep” right away and remember floating down some sorta river in a dream that wasn’t terribly unlike the film (with an apt name, given the circumstances) “Spirited Away”. Paper lanterns and all that. Not unpleasant at all. In fact, I awoke refreshed enough to suggest it to anyone willing to give it a go. (Disclaimer: if you dream of “Fourth Kind” level alien abductions, it ain’t my fault.)

Then, after my soul somersaulted in and outta my body, I opted to do the same with my actual body the next day.

Via overcoming my fear of head-standing sans walls…

If I’m being honest, though, I need to hit the “R” on my yoga gearbox, back dat ass up, and work on bettering my technique.

’cause this lasted like a second and a half. And the neck ache lasted… a little longer.

It’ll come, though. Point is, though: I can do that thing I kept saying I was never gonna do.

But the day after that, I was at a loss for what to do that was new. I mean, I tried the fitness trail…

But apparently you have to work up to things like pull ups.

Or muscle ups.

Or holding onto a rope and jumping off.

So, I opted for… a zen garden. And since I’m not a fan of doing things the traditional way, I went for pet zen.


And my own pet would be getting a less-than-zen hairdo in a couple’a days…

But not before I added a touch of literary dorkiness into the challenge:

Why not? I mean, people do this with their damned T.V. shows all the time.

“Did you see what happened on Gotham last night?” -My sister

“Did you see Frank Underwood serve the Russian prez his own ass?” -Me, still only 3 eps into H.O.C.

Why not do the same using the cinematic director behind our brain-cameras reading novel long scripts?

It’s actually insanely fun comparing how you ‘n someone else interpret a character or “scene” in written form.

Less fun, however, was quitting coffee:

Jesus, has it been a week already?

I mean, in reality, I didn’t quit quit it. What I did was stop making an entire pot in the morning and mainlining the entirety of its contents into my face within the hour. And still, in the past week, I’ve had only two cups of the stuff. The green tea swap’s been magnificent, and I’m proud to say I’m now a “social” coffee drinker. It’s kinda nice that way, ’cause if I’d like to start hanging out where the music plays and the humans are schwilled anytime in the future, coffee can be kinda like a luxury-vice I reserve for those times – so that I don’t feel left outta the whole “altered consciousness” club.

(Continued here.)