After years of therapy spent trying to convince myself it wasn’t really real… Damn you, YouTube! You see, when I was in first grade, what I recalled only as the “Good Touch/Bad Touch Bear” (an awareness video for children to avoid molestation) managed to leave an indelible and haunting stamp on my psyche well into adulthood. Long after I moved over to the “big kids’” school and started learning more.. Read More
I won’t usually do this… But the sea I see of camel toes and plumber cracks flooding the malls, salon, local gas station, etc. has forced me to bestow upon you a great, GREAT gift: So enjoy my generosity while it lasts. Specifically, this is solid advice for my HIGH HIPPED and LOW WAISTED beauties alike. So for those of you with short attention spans, keep reading. This is important:.. Read More
Most of us look crappy when we wake up. But do you ever have those fat, fat, FAT face days? Where the rest of your body is seemingly normal, but your face just won’t deflate? Ever have a bunch of them in a row? What’s going ON?! Well, for my girlfriends who aren’t bio dorks like myself, I’ll break it down nice and easy. The answer behind the “fat face”.. Read More
After seeing this gem… … I couldn’t help myself. xoxo
Sigh. Another romantic comedy, another cliche blog entry comprised of me saying “I’m not going to end up happy at the end like she does because life’s not really like a movie” Right? Eh… only in part. I mean “What’s Your Number” touches on as many “it’s funny ’cause it’s true” elements, as it does the typical montage-that-never-happens-IRL scenes. Yes, I’ve performed the opening scene before: Yes, I’ve eaten a.. Read More
Happy New Year’s, lovies! For those staying in, enjoy…. And for those going out, be SAFE without even having to pay! The are SAFE and FREE WAYS to keep our FREEWAYS SAFE!! Click on Edie’s boobies below to read how, or dial the number: Wait, wait, wait… I can just see some of my sloppier friends fumbling around later to figure out what “taxi” is after last call. I’ll save.. Read More
“No, Homo, bro…” Since the dawn of… well, probably just midway through last year, guys have been utilizing this phrase to successfully express their approval of a same sex friend without the risk of emanating homosexuality. As I’ve heard the exchange of this perplexing pleasantry in various situations- from beer stained bar stools, as they lament over ex lovers to one another, to the weight room at the gym –.. Read More
Merry Christmas, all! Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll get onto my not-related-to-Xmas blog. I was just making use of the holiday in order render an effective pun out of the title… For the sake of being meta, I’m posting the rest of this admittedly would-be Facebook reply in a blog post. For those of you who are not Brett, Rich, or Megan, don’t feel lost if you.. Read More
It’s funny. And when I say “funny”, I mean…well, stupid. Allow me to back up a bit: Speaking of “stupid” versus “smart” (when it comes to technology), my cell phone’s genre is best described by the former of the two adjectives. While some have state-of-the-art communication devices, dubbed “smart” phones, I’ve the “dumbphone”. And, even if I didn’t, they’re always changing… For a while it was the “crackberry”. There was.. Read More
**Disclaimer: Sick Day, so it’s a short one…** Okay, I enjoy (laughing at) reality TV occasionally. I’ll admit it. Jersey Shore? I take it in doses. Housewives? I got bored of that. Kendra? Wait – does that still air? And finally: Kardashians? Eh… Background noise for a day like today when I’m sick/laid up in bed So, speaking of the Kardashians, the most recent show “K&K Take New York” had.. Read More