“I hate you all! You TRICKED me! YOU LIARS” “My stupid friend went telling my mom on me because she saw a post on facebook.” “I am never talking to any of you again!” “Why would a ‘friend’ choose my health over the fun loving me?!” “I’ll go after ONE more hit… Just lemme have one more…” Ahhh… Since the dawn of firewater and peyote, overindulgence has induced issues of.. Read More
“This is more addictive than crack!” It’s a phrase I’ve heard most girl friends and every guy I’ve dated say at least once before, as they shoveled some kind of food into their respective pie holes. In the nineties, I remember seeing jokes everywhere about “How chocolate is better than men/sex”. And women – older and younger alike – would gather around, giggling at the idea that they “weren’t the.. Read More
Laugh! Cry! Be horrified! Get annoyed! Be confused! Hate yourself! Get aroused! Be motivated! Want… something! I realize this one is “old news”. But as more and more of the controversial ads pop up lately (ie – Miu Miu, Drop Dead, and H&M with their “too-skinny” models), only to be retracted by the demand of some special interest group, some might beg the question, “Why bother? They must know it’ll.. Read More
So, you screwed up. The natural reaction is to apologize. It’s great to be able to own up to your wrongdoings – many cannot. But do you mean it? My last blog entry, might cause many to ask even more questions about apologies: What *is* a proper apology? How do you know if someone means it? Why isn’t an apology enough? In short, what lies behind those timeless words… “I’m.. Read More
Our dear friend Richard (of www.richardland.com) – ever able to turn every day life into an adventure in comedy – recently flipped on the camera in order to capture the musings of his young nephew, Riley, on a not-so-rainy day: (Click to view) Uncle Rich, video camera in hand, and his seven (going-on-twenty-seven) year old accomplice begin chatting about random topics, when Riley suddenly cuts himself short as he glances.. Read More
RF: So, Ashley! All of your exes are either engaged, married, or close to it! AO: Oh… they are? RF: Yeah… you didn’t know? AO: Yeah, no… I didn’t really give it much thought RF: Well… it’s true! So are – uh – most of the people you know and love… (awkward pause). Don’t you check Facebook? The pictures? The ultrasound defaults? The photos of bitches getting hitched? (another awkward.. Read More
Okay, don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate all kids. But I didn’t have kids for a reason, and it was NOT so that I could babysit yours. I work as a physical therapy tech. So when parents bring their kids in, they need to keep them quiet, keep them from mashing their snacks into the floor, and tell them not to bug me while I’m trying to work. Not-a-babysitter… Read More
So, it’s only a couple months until season 6 arrives! I don’t have Showtime, so I will have to check it out a day or two late online. If you ruin any episodes for me, plastic sheets are in your future for sure. In any case, I checked out the official promo trailer to see what we could expect. Season 5 was a pit of despair, as Dexter helped Lumen.. Read More
Okay, no, she didn’t. It’s seaweed. I hope. Anyway, apologies – that was a crude and false pretense to get you to come here. But first – before you turn away in disappointment, yes – that is her, just a few humans larger in weight than when she filmed “The Girl Next Door” or “My Sassy Girl” or all those movies with “Girl” in it, where she’s walking in slow.. Read More
“Dad!”…”Dad!”…”Dad!” The bloodcurdling cries of A 37 year old man pierce the night, as he screams out in vain for his father – who isn’t even present- to help save him. He is being beaten and tasered to what will be a slow and violent death in the streets of Fullerton, California, in a duel of six large, fit, men versus one unarmed, homeless man of 135 lbs. Bystanders look.. Read More