I guess I was a few months late when I posted this and the comment reply:

(Greg’s default is a nice retrospective foreshadowing to the pranky skittle-shake which you’ll see in a sec.)

‘cause Jimmy Kimmel’d already beat me to it back in January, apparently.

And, yes, it’s everything I’d dreamed of.

I’ll be honest. We health nuts can get pretty annoying. In retrospect, even that post I made back in April sounded a little douchey – but I was at a loss. I’d just discovered that the vegetable squashers over at the V8 factory were big fat liars and that my cheap and easy go-to for a soup base wasn’t vegan after all. Since then, I’ve managed to find a suitable shoe in to supplant (soupplant?) my former fave. But, let me tell you, during the interim, I was really starting to lose it. I’d been drinking this deceptive veggie elixir all along. Who was I? Did I not count as being a vegan after all if I’d been drinking V8? What about the days I didn’t have it? Did that count? Or is veganism only celebrated like they do in AA meetings – uninterrupted periods of clean eating time? Maybe my genuine ignorance excused me? Sigh. Yes, my friends. It was the most existentially terrifying seven and a half minutes (that it took to drive to Wegman’s and wander down the juice and soup aisle to locate a replacement) of my life.

And you’ve gotta wonder how many of these peeps went through a similar internal reaction:

I also wonder how many of these outta tastebud touch folk didn’t respond so well as the black dude did.

Especially since his reaction’s the only one I seem to be seeing on here. I’m imagining at least one of those middle aged ladies going on a tirade about how a late night talk show’s just raped mouth and stomach with Fun Dip. And while I laughed at this bit, I half get it/half say “get over it”. Though I love to poke fun at myself, I will say that for some of us, the diet style does mean something on a moral level. Note I say “something”, because for other members of this group (like me) it’s not “everything”. Just like the candy coated skittles in the faux cold pressed juice they charge twenty bucks for, my compassionate snacking’s layered in a nice sugary sheath of vanity goals as well. So it’s good they found a halfway happy jape medium and opted not to make like V8 by telling the fib that it was vegan (as well as organic).

Otherwise Jimmy’d hafta up the security on his fortress walls after slipping ‘em bits of bovine effluvia and whatnot.

“Wait! But the whole idea of veganism is to *not* kill beasts!”

But on the other hand, Hippocrates always said “let thy food be thy medicine”.

And much like your drugs, you should always research your food before sucking it down.

And also like your drugs, you should never pick your food up off some street rando.