You know that stupid Back-to-the-Future meme that keeps trolling us?

The one about “this is the date the DeLorean did that thing in the movie with the time travel”? Well, whatever it was, you can forget it. Because the only date that’s gonna matter in real life from now on is 2017. Why? Because that’s the year when hoverbikes (no, not boards – sorry) will finally be available for me to Mc-Fly my ass over the carbon monoxide sea of traffic and wave at all the miserable people below.


Although it’s only in its beta stages, the “hover bike” (created by Aerofex, this company in L.A.) is meant to seat two, rides about 20 feet off the ground, and goes up to 45 mph (which probably seems pretty fast when your shiz is all exposed to the air and not covered with metal and glass and such).

And the cost? $85,000.


You know, I’m not the only one “shutup-and-take-my-money-ing” about this. And while I’m sure there are sci-fi flicks that have already though of this – I’m already thinking… air-taxi. Granted, we need a few years for them to work on pimping out the speed levels and bringing down the costs, but I think a levitating cab would totally be a hot ticket item.

Like, when a dude hears how bad traffic is. Or if weather’s bad and his car doesn’t do too well in the snow. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to pay for parking or public transit charges. Boom. Air taxi, at your service, betches. Door to door, motherchugger. Which reminds me – Ashley’s Air Taxi (that’s what we’re calling it now – I’ve decided) will even do that – chug your mother around town when she can’t see the road through her cataracts enough to drive anymore, but still wants to feel self sufficient by shuffling around Whole Foods and knocking the displays down.

And how a-fckking-mazing would that commute be every day?

Aerial view?

No fumes?

Getting to feel like Sons of Anarchy meets Harry Potter?

And – last but not least – no more free shows en route to work each day…

Wait – will this go up high enough to hang informants from when they rat on my Bolivian cartel?

Eh… Either way, I’ll take mine in pink.

Just like my childhood Huffy.