Hey, ladyfriends. Ever get a request like this?
I mean totally out of the blue.
I’m not talking about that guy you’ve been flirting with for a couple months back and forth. No. This guy’s just a random friend of a friend you thought was “good people”. But then he comes up with this nonsense. Asking for snaps of ya in skivvies he’s planning to purchase. Now, before you all yell at me and tell me I should’ve accepted the free e-card for overpriced panties he’d never get to see (or else ripped the thing his are covering a new one), hear out my reply to this guy. Because I’ve seen a rise in this kinda behavior lately. And, I had to wonder. What if – instead of ignoring or getting incensed – I tried my best to alter the way people like this think? So that it doesn’t continue?
Granted, don’t get me wrong – I wanted to shame him for acting a fool.
But, instead, I reluctantly called on my (typically inactive) “good side”.
And she urged me to reply thusly:
HIM: could I have your email address? I know that sounds like the weirdest thing in the world for a stranger to ask for. I’d like to send you a VS gift card via email if you promise to model your purchase for me? Sorry if I come off like a complete idiot. I have zero chill when a shining star of a woman stumbles into my life.
ME: Um..! Not idiotic; just a bit forward for someone you don’t know so well or have a relationship with, my friend!
HIM: I agree. Maybe later huh?
HIM: Sometimes you have to blindly take a first step. Sometimes its a turd… sometimes not. You got me to come out my shell and take a blind first step. Thank you for that 🙂
ME: I think the problem Benjamin, is that technology has gotten us so far removed from being able to treat eachother like human beings instead of objects. Don’t feel badly for your faux pas. Your request is simply a symptom of a larger societal problem. When you try again with another lady, maybe try delving into her interests, hobbies, and search for similarities you share. Getting to the sexting portion of a dynamic takes time for most womenfolk 🙂
HIM: Well said.
ME: That’s why they pay me the big bucks, my friend! Have a beautiful day 🙂
Chat Conversation End
So, if you like, my fellow ladies – try to remember: this isn’t about tiptoeing around feelings.
It’s about elevating humanity.
When someone’s acting kinda inconsiderate or ignorant, it’s typically a symptom of some larger problem. Maybe it’s a societal issue like my friend here. Maybe it’s how they were raised. Maybe they just don’t get out much – and forget how to interact. Or, ya know, maybe they just legitimately don’t give a shiz. Either way (and I never thought I’d employ an MLK quote on an entry about sexting, but here goes): we don’t drive out darkness with darkness. Only light can do that. His darkness? Not treating me like a human being. More darkness would be – me doing the same, by forgetting that he’s only human. And just a function of whatever’s going on in his little corner of the world. Would’ve been really easy for me to do that here – to get defensive, call him a creep, or ignore him altogether. But my hope’s that, the next lady he gets in touch with, he’ll at least act as if she’s a person.
My good side hopes that maybe when he does, he’ll realize she actually is.
My bad side?
Yeah, she regrets not accepting the free gift card and blocking him promptly after.
I guess lightness won… this time.