You wanna know what’s worse than seeing celebrities in my Facebook sidebar?
Thinking I’m seeing a celebrity’s name when it’s something else I might actually be interested in.
Before you know it, a title about this creature called an “opah” fish is forcing me to think about Oprah Winfrey. Along with a series of facepalm worthy mentally constructed montages of all the times she’s compared guests who are mourning lost loved ones to that time when she lost her dog, Sophie. So, I finally clicked on the link about the fish – hoping to kill the mental link (the way singing a song gets it out of your head; or saying a dream out loud will keep the cat demon with a bird body from actually eating me). And I totally wish I could say it made me feel any better or broke the brain connection. But, no. Instead, now my peripheral vision just keeps trolling me into thinking that trending headline in my sidebar is saying they just discovered that Oprah is actually an agile, predatory, warm blooded fish from deep in the Pacific Ocean. (“You get eaten! And *you* get eaten! Look under your seats, everyone, you’re all going home today as poop!”) That said, the background on this wheel sized sea dweller is pretty gnarly.
So, let’s all pause to have a collective “tweetable/Aha!” moment over that. SuperSoul Sunday style:
What makes him so spesh is that, unlike the slothy losers around him, his adapted warm-bloodedness allows him to snipe sentient snacks quickly and easily. To compare, the tuna-cousin (who lives further north) doesn’t hafta deal with the cool temps and just relies on muscle warmth. But opah here has evolved a set of car radiator looking gills that just let him stay at dungeon depths permanently. He’ll even chase dinner down if he has to, while the other slob species just sit around and grab whatever’s within suck’s reach. Compared to his torpid pals,
Oprah opah is like the cheetah of the sea.
And while all of that’s unbelievably cool albeit not very useful to know…
I’m still gonna be immediately making talk show host associations till it stops trending in my soshe media.
Ten bucks says tonight we all dream about a curly haired sashimi that keeps interrupting us anytime we try to eat her.
Along with whoever made this image, knowing I’d cast a line looking for it by the end of this article.