I’m glad I haven’t seen “American Sniper” yet.

For one, it’s too soon after reading the book. I need a proper mourning period.

No… I mean, yes, obviously I’m better than everyone else. Foregone conclusion.

But it’s not because I like internally directing the narrative myself.

(Or maybe it is – you should hear some of my mind’s soundtracks and emotional deliveries. Truly.)

And my relief on holding out thus far is also not just because I dread spending more than an hour on my ass to witness the beginning, middle, and end of an entertainment narrative. Rather, today, it’s because I got to look at famous adults act like children on social media over this film by waging a word firefight. And, subsequently, I can now judge the situation from an unbiased, third person viewpoint (sorta – the story version might breed a bit of bias; but let’s keep on point here). So, famous person Craig Moran (do you know who he is? I didn’t until I performed the laborious task of researching his name and stuff) saw a post that comedic actor Seth Rogen wrote, and started ripping him a new one over the net in a lengthy reply.

After Moran – a country singer who served a decade or so in the Army – saw this:

…he replied this:

“You are fortunate to enjoy the privilege and freedom of working in and living in the United States, and saying whatever you want (regardless of how ignorant the statement) thanks to people like Chris Kyle who serve in the United States military.” He went on to call the Twitter post “inaccurate and insensitive,” before adding, “I’m sick and tired of people like you running your mouth when you have no idea what it takes for this country to maintain our freedoms. If you and anyone like you don’t like it, leave.”

Now, it’s early as I plunk my scattered thoughts into this machine.

So I’m willing to invite the possibility that I just didn’t get much sleep and am misreading Mr. Moran’s reply and drawn conclusions from Seth’s movie musings. But might he’ve been the one misreading? I’m made to understand that the scene Rogen’s referencing in said Tarantino piece is a Nazi Propaganda film, yes, but it’s also stylistically over the top. Both of those qualities exist. That’s the nice thing about drawing subtle comedic analogies. Might the film have reminded our affable Jewish clown of either facet? Might he, given his heritage combined with a comedian’s knack for nitpicking, be easily reminded of Nazi stuff? Sure. Can we make an assumption that it was that, or that he was saying the movie was like propaganda to promote war support, or both?

Well, as my friend who’s almost as troubled as I am says, “When you assump, you put a ‘t’ on ‘I’.” In retrospect, I’m not sure if that’s what he actually said. I’m also not sure exactly what it means. But I am worried that it makes a bit more sense to me than the original – seeing as a sideways “t” looks a bit like an “x” which – since you’re putting it on “I” – means you’re crossing out “I” (or “me”) and denying everything I might actually mean had you asked me instead’a assuming. Technically “U” are just making an “ass” outta “U”. So, anyway, let’s go with that. Let’s also reserve carving fancy looking x’s and t’s onto people for the maniacal racists we’re mutually condemning, shall we?

’cause we are mutually against assumption based ignorance, yes?

We share that common ground?

Like the Hindu stories go, don’t become the thing you’re trying to defeat. So while my initial questions were: “What if he’d meant it stylistically seemed eye-roll-y? Could he be commenting on the cinematic artistic qualities? Not the life of Chris Kyle? Or snipers? Or the armed forces in general?”..my second question is: Does it matter? An opinion is a belief. Just like a religion is. And you’re condemning it?

More than any of the previous questions, that was the biggest for me.

Because there was a kind of hypocrisy underlying the veteran singer’s post. “Freedom”… “Privelege”… “Whatever you want”…Inspiring diction like this peppers Mr. Moran’s paragraph long post. And that’s nice until you get to the bit where he says he’s “sick and tired” of people like Seth “running his mouth” and ultimately demanding, “If you don’t like it, then leave.” Now, I need to look this up, because I’m a little rusty on stuff I learned in elementary school, but isn’t running our mouths our first amendment right? I just checked… and yes. Yes it is. One’a those freedom-y things you fought for, Mr. Moran, no? Kinda makes your post a bit contradictory. How can you champion a country of free speech and the job done to preserve that freedom and others – and then try to hush someone else invoking said right – because yours doesn’t jibe with it? I understand the tendency to feel heated because you had a personal investment – one where you almost died making sure Americans had rights. I get that. But, hard as it may be to accept, that was a blanket service. It didn’t come with the clause that ’cause you life-risked to protect rights you can now dole out and withhold them at your discretion (like I do on Halloween when I give the fat kid an apple and everyone else processed sugary goodness.)

Y’know, I know someone who had a personal investment in giving me something else, too:

My mom.

And she also almost died doing it.


(An example of a sequitur she doesn’t try to draw from giving me life.)

No, literally. Almost killed her. I started the job as I departed her and she might argue that I’ve been doing my best to finish it every day since. Because between then and now, I’ve done and still do things with that life (which she almost died giving and probably regrets now bestowing upon me) that she’d rather go to war than witness or be privy to the details. She doesn’t agree with all of it it. But she also didn’t go into or outta L&D thinking, “Now she has to agree with me blindly forever because I’m the only reason she’s breathing. I battled death for this!” No. She knows that when you sacrifice something for an altruistic reason and wholeheartedly believe in what you’re doing, you don’t lord your personal expectations over someone. No matter what you’ve done for them.

So maybe that’s the trifecta lesson here today.

Yes, lessons.

‘cause what’s the point in pointing out others’ errors if not to learn from ’em?


(Pretty sure they just call that “complaining”.)

I respect veterans greatly – just like I respect everyone. And I’m not on a “side” here because patriotism isn’t what this is about. Not remotely. It’s about humanity. Asking versus assuming. Considering all aspects of a matter prior to verbally vomiting opinions (I know; really hard in the publicly-post-stuff-only-your-shrink-should-hear age). So, first lesson: that we should avoid drawing conclusions based on our defensive preconceived notions (maybe ask people to clarify instead’a assuming?) Second lesson: that we should ask ourselves: Am I actually living by the creed and code I claim as my own? Whether it’s based in spirituality or the SEALS, it doesn’t matter. If your argument for something leads you to act in opposition to what it stands for (say, trying to silence your fellow Americans for voicing an opinion – or just observation, really – that doesn’t match yours about the valiance of fighting for freedom to express those opinions), maybe you need to reevaluate what’s been motivating you. Or if you actually believe in what you say you do. And, if the answer’s yes, then ask why it contradicts your behavior. Oh, and third lesson? Fighting online is stupid. And pointless. ‘cause it rarely changes anyone’s minds.

But, ya know, free country an’ all’a that.

You can totally ignore this whole thing I just wrote. And say whatever you like.

“Regardless of how ignorant the statement.”