Next on science demystified:


The heart chakra is something that’s still Bin Laden level elusive to me on an application level.

I mean – I’ll think I’ve got it in my cross hairs, but then it’ll die and randomly disappear (also like Bin Laden did). And that generally happens when I’m afraid (anxious, nervous, disgusted, etc). I suppose that jibes with the whole “Love versus Fear” thing I used to knock. But on a very anatomical level, at least, that’s been something I’ve come to realize holds true: my posture changes drastically when I’m in a state of fear and distrust – my shoulders close in and I hunch up, like I’m afraid I’ll quite literally be stabbed in my cardiac cavity with your cruel word spears. From what I’ve witnessed in body language amongst others, that seems to hold true as well. At the very least, I’ll see someone’s chest muscles tighten up until their breathing changes, they blink harder, and their facial expressions are restricted. To quote everyone who quotes everyone else: the heart doesn’t lie.

(You’re right, Donnie. Everything else shouldn’t get denied. They exist as manifestations of those two lump-categories. If the teacher hadn’t been blindly in love with the pedo-bear and actually studied up on the concept, she could’a explained that better.)

For that reason, I save the heart chakra for last because I feel like it’s the final link between your lower chakras (or “chi”) and that third eye area the other two articles talk about. People who’ve practiced this stuff longer than I have will say all the chakras are important to balance out. And while they’re probably not wrong, I like to think of these three main ones as the shortcut trifecta of accessing happiness without spending an hour doing a guided meditation.

(Who said spirituality’s devoid of sneakiness?)

So, what’s it feel like?

It varies. But, it’s kinda like a more sentimental, emotional bliss-flood feeling equivalent to the one I just described in the third eye intuition/creativity/well-being one (notice how well-being’s a theme here?) in the first article of the series. Sometimes this happens when we really feel a sad-empathy for someone hurting. Sometimes it happens when you’re standing by a cascade around 5:30 P.M. on a spring evening and seeing the sun come in just so, lighting up the water ripples, neon green leaves, and sky – which is an impossible swirl of violet, hot pink, and orange sherbert – while you stand there asking yourself if this is real life or not. Maybe it’s not your heart itself. Maybe it is. But whatever it is – it’s definitely this warm, pouring sensation over the bilateral area of where your blood-pumper resides.

Okay, we’re getting a bit outta orbit here, Ash. Where’s the science?

How’s this contribute to me feeling good?

More importantly, how’s this make the heart some link to the chi and tri-eye?

Well you remember that vagus nerve from the gut-brain bit in the last article? How it’s responsible for our sense of well-being and stuff? We know from the quote (by science-y experts) that it talks from the gut to the brain. So we’ve already demystified how it’s maybe responsible for causing some ajna action up in your skull-base and forehead’s portal. But you know where else the vagus meanders before culminating in your body attic?

Why, down through your nipple chakra like sensual overall straps, of course:

Right smack dab between your head and belly chakras. Who’d’a thunk it.

Ya know, as much as science always says “more research is needed” and hides behind “theories”, I feel as qualified as anyone else donning a coat to say: this is mine. Spiritual vagueness and the vagus nerve meet eachother cyclically in a simple mind body exercise you can do. It may take laser style focus, but if you start with shooting that laser focus and deep breathing at your belly, working your way up to your booby cavity, and eventually skull front ‘n back, it’s a pretty effing excellent way to self-tranquilize in like three minutes.

If nada else, it’s cheaper than my benzos used to cost.