Remember back in grade school when we’d trade our goods?

Lisa Frank stickers? Happy meal toys? Beanie Babies?

Drugs?

tonymontanakid

A kid recently made the news when he tried to trade his Adderall to his classmates for delicious Cheese-its. Far more epic than that actual attempted (reasonable, in my opinion) barter, was his mom’s response to the whole debacle. When asked to come speak to the school officials and authorities, she jumped to his defense and tried to explain he was “Just trying to help other students.”

Yeah… that excuse works- but only if she’s admitting how she’s fallen short as a parent in teaching that whole “don’t sell drugs” bit – while acknowledging that her son is innocent, still learning, and didn’t realize you don’t give away your drugs. Unless the deal is really good. (He could’ve done way better than cheddar crackers, IMHO

Ya know, I remember trading stuff in elementary school all the time. AND getting in trouble.

I had this friend Alison who wanted to be Elvis Presley. She was pretty and popular and she’d offer to perform a lunchtime song if we gave her our bagged snacks. I learned pirating skills early on during these gastronomical breaks in our day, as it dawned on me that I personally didn’t have to pay to receive the entertainment. I needed only encourage my friends to give away their snacks so Alison would sing.

My personal exchanges were more about making a monetary profit.

Being as good at this as I was, I was actually really pissed when I got yelled at for exchanging my apple for this girl Loretta’s quarter. It seemed more than fair, to me. But when Mrs. L made me give the quarter back, the apple had conveniently already been eaten. At least if the trade had been snacks or songs alike in exchange for drugs, both of us would have been able to enjoy the fruits of our agreement. Even worse – the only way Mrs. L could’ve possibly known was if Loretta told her. I guess her tattle-tale ass missed the day we covered “Snitches end up in ditches.”

Luckily, I took copious notes for her.

So an apple wasn’t the last thing she got from me at lunch…

knucklesandwich

#noregrets

What’s the dumbest deal you’ve ever made?