Blowing up your home in the name of arachnid assassination.

So, a man burned down his house trying to kill a spider. Mmmyes. I can already identify with this story. After seeing eight legged satan in his laundry room, the man did what any sane person acting rationally and calmly would do: went after it with a lighter and a can of spray paint. You know, that’s good… And… I like where your head’s at, buddy. But you could have.. Read More

Feng Shui for inspection day

I did a grand spring cleaning. It was inspired by this cathartic, domestic urge to purge my domicile of- Okay. Can’t lie. It was kinda required. We all got this goddamned inspection notice a few weeks back – the day before apartment inspection was due to happen. And being imbued with false pride and a desperate need to keep up an illusory appearance of perfection, I cancelled all of my.. Read More