The winner for world’s ugliest dog is in.

And this year, Peanut (who looks like a furry rage meme) won the contest’s highly coveted title. Even though we’re apparently so egocentric here in ‘murca that we dare to call it “World’s ugliest” (when no other nation’s actually compete in this canine competish of hideousness), I still think it’s effing adorable. And it makes my heart swell with equal parts glee and sadness. Why? ‘cause part of Peanut’s whole brand (whether he’s aware of it or not) is to help raise awareness against animal abuse. This Chihuahua shih-tzu mix doesn’t look how he looks cuzza great genes.

“I got it from my mama”

Sadly, no – Peanut didn’t get it from his mama. He was actually burned as a wee bit. Holly Chandler, his guardian and guardian angel not only rescued him but plans to put that cash toward the vet bills he desperately needs – probably on an ongoing basis. As for Peanut, he likely doesn’t know the difference except that he receives heaps of attention and maybe can sense that people get emotional or start laughing around him. (I totes feel like my dog knows the difference between joyous laughter versus laughing at her). Holly says of her pup:

“He has helped me raise awareness for Animal Cruelty by allowing me to share his story. He has been the greatest thing to happen to me! His hobbies are curling up on plushy dog beds, playing with all of his toys at one time, and trying to beat up his Pomeranian brother, Tucker.”

(I just like that last bit – “brother Tucker”. I think I’mma start using that to swear at people from now on.)

Ya know, I was thinking of adopting a sibling for Minnie Money. And in my fam, we tend to stick with rescue dogs. But this little contest kinda reminds me that the ones who don’t get picked as often are the ones missing limbs or layers of skin like old Peanut here. So my next pooch purchase just might be one of the ones who’ve got less a chance of someone else wanting them. I can just picture it now:

“Can I help you?”

“Mmmyes, I’d like one missing all its eyes and legs please.”


In sum, if you’ve had a long day at work and think, “I should come home and immolate the dog before punting him around the house like a flaming soccer ball”… avoid that. Instead, bring him to me, jump off the bridge on your way home, and we’ll all live happily ever after.