I realized three things when I mistakenly turned from the news to Dr. Phil today:
1.) Why am I watching this? (less a realization; more a serious moral self-inquiry, really.)
2.) He’s kinda just Jerry Springer with more credentials and less hair.
3.) I now get the real reason I’m not married or planning to be anytime soon.
You see, the show was on cheaters, mistresses, and the like.
IKR? Something new for talk show fodder.
And it wasn’t made any better by the fact that some Australian vixen (admittedly very attractive, albeit unlikable) was trying to pull the whole “blame him, not me” thing while tele-comm’ing with the wife on the receiving end of getting creeped on. While I “get it” – blame both the hubby and the ho – why bother? What’s this accomplishing? It took me a long time to realize that you can’t change people – and that even if you can, it generally won’t make you happy. You married a dude. You married a dude that likes to cheat. You married a dude that likes to cheat on you with a woman who doesn’t care about the concept of marriage or your vows. I’m sure you’ve already handed your homeboy’s ass to him and tried to get him to change his ways. Now you’re trying to change this bish. Tell me, darling, what does that accomplish? If she were to about-face on Phil’s stage, change her tune, sign a legal document promising that she’ll never spouse steal again… what would that do for you? Would it change the hurt of the past? Would it change all the other women out there who do the same damned thing? Will it keep your husband with his shitty track record from cheating again? Instead of trying to change two whole people – one of whom hopefully you’ll never see again – maybe the better question and approach is to ask yourself: why did I get married? And why have I stayed married to this man? If you’re not happy, leave. Waging emotional war is a triple edged sword with a blade for a handle. One slice for the whorey chick. One slice for you hubz. And another gash in your hand with every blow you strike.
Just go. Fcck ’em.
Shows like these remind me of why I never wanna marry. And the few times the thought of being up for getting tied down does leap into my mind, it’s for one reason and one reason only: ‘cause everyone else is. And I’m insecure. Okay, that was two reasons. Meanwhile, my ultimate logic-list for avoiding marriage is manifold: first – because of shows like these that demonstrate how rampant cheating is; second – because of the wives on shows like these who I don’t wanna become – where hate is the only thing fueling them anymore; and three- the two line superficial belief system I was horrified to suddenly understand about myself in a sudden A.M. epiphany as I turned off my T.V.:
The kinda dude that I’m attracted to will eventually cheat or leave.
The kinda dude who won’t cheat or leave – I won’t be attracted to. And I’ll be the one who leaves.