Miss Ashley Pants

Ashley

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Too bad weightlessness day isn’t real :/

Posted on December 26, 2014

Ah… this story would have been so cool if it were true. The Snopes debunked prank claimed that for “five minutes on January 4th”, we’d all experience partial weightlessness because of “planetary alignment”. The idea was that the phenomenon would ensue due to the combined gravitational forces of “Pluto moving behind Jupiter”. Aside from the fact that Pluto’s not a planet, so we don’t get to say it’s part of.. Read More

The silver lining of silver bells season

Posted on December 26, 2014

Winter has never been my favorite. Having lived in a region with seasonal changes four times a year, you’d think I would have gotten used to the ephemeral nature of warm, beautiful, summer by now. Alas, the Hawaiian half of me is so strong that a yearly freeze will always be my kryptonite. This year, being my second winter sans firewatwer or pills to numb the hatred of not-warm weather,.. Read More

OldzZZZzzzZzz

Posted on December 26, 2014

Because I'm 200 years old, apparently. #sweetdreams A photo posted by Ashley (@missashleypants) on Dec 12, 2014 at 5:40pm PST You know, I’m not even trying to fight it or hide it anymore. Every Most Some nights, lately, I end up getting in bed around 9 or 10. Even though I end up tossing and turning or working and reading, that’s what I do. And this week, that moved up.. Read More

Best way to battle Christmas = laying down weapons.

Posted on December 26, 2014

Christmas at my house has generally meant putting the “fun” in “dysfunctional”. Yes, a bit cliche – but only if you’re being sarcastic. And a few holidays ago, I might have told you that’s exactly what I meant as well. But we’ve been doing pretty well the past couple of years. Oh, we’re still dysfunctional – but it really has been kinda fun – and with less yelling. I’m not.. Read More

4 reasons you’d die if you hibernated till spring.

Posted on December 22, 2014

We can learn much from our animal friends. Sadly, most of the really the fun stuff (like sitting on power lines or trying to fly off a roof or in anything that’s not huge, pressurized, and shitting fuel across the sky) is generally admonished against attempting. But aside from dancing across the clouds, hunting a blissfully unaware still breathing dinner from afar, or screwing shamelessly in public, one of the.. Read More

McDonalds is erasing your faves: Time to taper, McJunkies.

Posted on December 22, 2014

So, McDonald’s is losing money. No, not dead, my loves. Not yet. But it did take about a 4.7% kick in the cheeseburger buns this year, which has led to them taking some serious action. Some seriously counterintuitive, doesn’t-make-sense, action – by removing a bunch of stuff from their menu. It’d be more like downgrading from five types of the same burger to just one. I mean, it sounds good.. Read More

Timex for your ticker organ, anyone?

Posted on December 22, 2014

They say that time mends a broken heart. But soon, a time-keeper might be able to as well. (Such an OG genius he doesn’t need a big hand or little hand.) My little mind was just blown a moment ago as I thumbed through this SciAm piece on pacemakers (ya know the thing that keeps grand pop’s life organ gushing survival oil to all his various bits of body?). Because,.. Read More

Dude demolishes home trying to propose. Chick still says “yes”.

Posted on December 22, 2014

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done in the name of love? This story about a Dutch dude’s proposal fail (that I’m just now seeing after, like, a week) may just take the wedding cake. Armed with more good intentions and money than numbers in his I.Q., this guy hired someone to help him carry out the dumbest proposal ever. His plan was to suspend himself from a crane in.. Read More

New life origin theory = light + hot water + time.

Posted on December 22, 2014

So, a new theory about how life started has landed just like our astral ancestors did on earth eons ago. Jeremy England’s theory doesn’t challenge Darwin. “On the contrary,” he says, “I am just saying that from the perspective of the physics, you might call Darwinian evolution a special case of a more general phenomenon.”. It just kinda zooms out on the bigger picture of why and how it was.. Read More

A wrench was emailed to the Space Station… Emailed?!

Posted on December 22, 2014

For some reason, I got more excited about this 3D printer NASA story than I should have. 3D printing’s not a terribly new technology – it’s been around for 30 years or so. But hearing that an astronaut who needed a wrench received one from NASA via email… into outer space… was just too many layers of cosmic awesome for me to handle. Maybe it’s because – here on earth.. Read More