Miss Ashley Pants

Ashley

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Science says we have built-in mind control.

Posted on December 8, 2014

“So you’re telling me there’s a part of my brain…that’s controlled by yours… …to mimic you?” I don’t know why the relatively new region of science dealing with “mirror neurons” bothers me. But it does. Because what it means, essentially, is that we all have specific types of brain cells whose jobs are to involuntarily be mind-controlled by those around us. Initially, they picked up on this and dubbed it.. Read More

Six 12-step meetings we need to create for my entertainment.

Posted on December 7, 2014

You’ve heard of 12 step programs before, yes? They’re meant to help people addicted to drugs or food or sex get their lives back on track after forming detrimental habits they can’t seem to easily kick solo. Awesome and transformative as they are, I’ve always felt like more than one group is too much. It separates types of addiction into different cliques when their central problem is all the same.. Read More

F.lux update: Orange is the new blue.

Posted on December 7, 2014

F.lux has ruined my life. Because… it works. Really well. Like, better than I’d anticipated. Almost.. too much better. I totally doubted it too. Maybe that’s ‘cause I’m a pessimist. Or maybe it’s because my other bad habits that relate to technology use (like posture, general dependency, and self-diagnosed attention deficit disorder) are so well ingrained, they’re nearly impossible to change. I’ve driven myself so far from my base-level of.. Read More

Your bully revenge makes me want to bully you.

Posted on December 7, 2014

Okay, I don’t wanna “bully” this chick. But grow the fluff up. The background is essentially this: Dude was mean in middle school to her, they end up at the same college, he asks her out to dinner, and she stands him up after giving the waitress this note to hand him: That’s not bad, but the whole bit with posting it to the internet, all “look what I did!”.. Read More

“Corpse Accordion” coming soon…

Posted on December 5, 2014

Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. I just stumbled across the most epic ingredients for a horror movie narrative. Via this ridiculous art sculpture I thought was video-shopped: My head was so shocked at the sight of this slinky head that I had to watch it three times: once to be wowed by the sorcery without trying to figure it out, once again to process what was going on, and then.. Read More

Why we should all be gayer.

Posted on December 5, 2014

“Why does homosexuality exist?” What a click-baity title for an article. And what an idiot I am for having clicked it when I wasn’t terribly interested in the answer. At least not anymore than I am to know why my homo homies use a rainbow for their flag (I still dunno. Don’t bother telling me. I’ll forget.) Yet, I read on. For science. But not before opine-ruminating on the issue.. Read More

SOA’s “Final Ride”: Ugh. Are we theeere yeeet???

Posted on December 5, 2014

Okay I’m just going to say it. Sons of Anarchy was awesome for several seasons. But as the “Final Ride” finale draws near, this show is fccking depressing me so much that I can’t even eat my feelings over what a disappointment it is. Generally, I’ll sit there gnawing away nervously at a bowl of delicious berries as I watch grizzled grown men attend meetings in their “No girls allowed!”.. Read More

Co-slumbering’s…. good for you? Pssh-zzzzz

Posted on December 3, 2014

Science says that sleeping with somebody is good for you. Unless they mean in the colloquial, porking-someone-on-the-reg kinda way, I’mma call bullshit. “That was nice. Now leave. I’ve still got an hour before the alarm and I didn’t get this hot by playing snooze spoons.” And my premature judgment based on only my own personal life experiences is likely at least half right, to be fair. Because science also says.. Read More

Is science going Moreau fo’ real?

Posted on December 3, 2014

A lot of my long, boring rants on the latest scientific findings rely – at their core – on mice to prove their points. Optogenetics. Addiction studies. Habit hacking. They all refer back to some study or series of studies in which lab rats, mice, or some sorta rodent was used. Which probably leaves a lot of non-scientists wondering… Um…What the fluff do we have in common with these creatures?.. Read More

World’s tallest rollercoaster? Thanks but no thanks…

Posted on December 3, 2014

Many moons ago, in high school Psychology, I remember learning about “flooding” to conquer fears. I half thought it was a bunch of bullshit, but I was slightly more open minded then, so I gave it a try. If you slept through that class, “flooding” is basically this thing you’re meant to do when you have a fear you want to get over – just inundate yourself with the terrifying.. Read More