Miss Ashley Pants

Ashley

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#FindDancingMan: Cruelty turned into kindness by life-winners.

Posted on March 16, 2015

“Y’can sit here if ya want to…” It was such an effing heartwarming moment in my childhood – hearing Forrest Gump get his first friend invitation en route to school. That iconic movie moment’s always stuck with me (along with a litany of other over-uttered lines issued from everyone I know in their best and lowest laryngeal tone). And it’s always what comes to mind when I see and hear.. Read More

Why so much red tape, Red Cross? And everyone else?

Posted on March 16, 2015

Yeah, I do service work, sometimes. But my motives are totes selfish. Typically, I use volunteering as a way to get out of my own self-conjured sorrow cycle. Seeing other people and listening to their problems helps me A.) feel less alone about feeling shitty. B.) use it as some horrible internal measuring stick to remind myself how good I have it. C.) Possibly come away with someone liking me.. Read More

Next up in weirdAF shit news: Can we feel cell phone waves?

Posted on March 16, 2015

Ever check your phone at exactly double-zero o’ clock? Or text someone right when they’re texting you – not in mid convo? And – to make weird weirder – their message relates to what you were gonna say to them? Technology coincidences are nada new for me – especially with respect to specific folk. And recently, there’s a new one to add to that list: whether something in my brain.. Read More

My personality’s too big for one bucket. Yours pro’lly is too.

Posted on March 16, 2015

I love these little images. It’s like that one with the cup half full or half empty versus the “realist” saying, “Wait, is that piss in this cup?” But, somehow, there’s something about this particular image that helps clarify which, if any, of the three genres I or anyone I know fits into. Are you an optimist? Do you try to see the best in things? A pessimist, always seeking.. Read More

#30daysofnewthings: Why I got this tattoo

Posted on March 16, 2015

I was just finishing up my morning writing Friday when I realized… “It’s Friday the 13th. And I’ve never celebrated it.” Immediately the novelty center that is the eye of the storm of this cerebral insanity in which I reside, began to speak to me – demanding we accomplish something new today – however small. A haunted tour? An abandoned house with a dark and homicidal backstory? There is a.. Read More

A funny thing happened on the way to the temple…

Posted on March 13, 2015

I was excited – but I had all the usual fears going on tonight. What if they don’t like me? What if I make an idiot of myself? What if they think I’m the Marla Singer of spirituality – a big tourist in a little Buddhist temple? As day seven of my #30daysofnewthings quest, I had planned to head out past Occoquan to a little Buddhist temple called “Ekoji”. I.. Read More

Would you save a life? Or wait for someone else to?

Posted on March 13, 2015

When I was still in college, my dad came back from a trip to Greece with a frightening story. He’d been taking the public transit there when the door of the metro style train door shut on his arm. Realizing he couldn’t get it loose, he started tugging and twisting away at it. Apparently the trains over there aren’t like the metro here, which he observed when it wouldn’t budge… Read More

#30daysofnewthings: inadvertent novelty ‘n signs

Posted on March 13, 2015

“Ashley,” I replied to the gentleman beside me, asking my name. I think he thought I was lying. We had both come to the same park and were having a chat through the windows of our cars. Although he’d invited me out to go feed some birds two feet away at the water, I was about to go on a run. So I told him I might swing by when.. Read More