Miss Ashley Pants

Ashley

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The shade in this 40’s yearbook is RILL.

Posted on January 17, 2015

It’s easy to forget things were way diff back in the year nineteen-typewriter-and-pincurls. Like, I try to consider (sometimes, when I’m bored, supposed to be working, or both) being Pleasantville style transported back to a retro-era. Pointy sweater breasts. Long skirts. Everything in reality transpiring through Instagram’s “Inkwell” filter. And no matter how many times I try to Delorean daydream myself into a pre-now era, I know the reality wouldn’t.. Read More

Can sports help you sport a smile?

Posted on January 17, 2015

So, I just saw a Distractify list: “The 30 Most Photogenic People of All Time”. Naturally, it was fun to thumb through (or thumb and pointer finger – because: laptop mouse); I mean, who doesn’t like looking at pretty people? But as I was visually flipping through these candid snappies capturing grace under pressure, something occurred to me. Well, a few things. First, most of these images were taken at.. Read More

I won’t be happy till I have a Task Manager implant.

Posted on January 17, 2015

I wish I had a mental task manager. Obviously one that nixes people and events would be optimal…but I fancy myself a realist. So, I’ll settle for a behavior-modifying brain app. (A mockup of .0001% of mine. A legit scroll bar’d be naught but a horizontal sliver. What would yours say?) Yeah. One like this image. Just something that just changes me – my perceptions – without me having to,.. Read More

Were you attacked by a dog? Or a pit bull?

Posted on January 17, 2015

This was a good eye-roll-y headline to start off my day: “PetSmart shopper gets bit by pit bull in store” The story’s not much deeper than this – other than these two salient points: 1.) The Detroit Pet Smart in question didn’t help out or take responsibility 2.) Neither did the dog-owning dude who left right after his pet bit the other shopper. (This is what the dude looks like).. Read More

Do you wanna build a snowbridge? To eternal hellfire?

Posted on January 17, 2015

♫ Do you wanna build a Saudi Arabian snowman? Hmmm… Maybe another inquisitive Disney quote can help you answer this: Sure. Yes. Let’s build one. Right before we go to prison. And hell. ‘cause if you’re a Saudi Arabian frolicking in the fluffy white stuff they’re experiencing, then those are the repercussions for your ephemeral levity. As prominent cleric Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid says, the reason is that it goes.. Read More

5 things we can learn from these animals

Posted on January 13, 2015

Much like all of non-human nature, I learn a lot from my dog. I learn the value of rest, the simple bliss experienced at the touch of another creature, how to properly greet someone I haven’t seen all day (or for ten minutes), and how to really revel in the delight of dinnertime – spilling the contents of my bowl everywhere. A happy, joyous, slob. And, thanks to the joint.. Read More

And now for a bog brothel. Run by Gary Busey’s nephew.

Posted on January 13, 2015

Sure, Michael Busey’s “Sausage Castle” looks like True Detective’s pedo-swamp home. But inside, it’s more like “The Bunny Ranch” meets Warhol’s 60’s era “Factory”. I just let my eyes meander across a Vice article on this Floridian bog brothel, told through photography. And the images are fantastic. While a lot of the commenters didn’t seem to appreciate it much (the people are dirty and indulgent – and like the saying.. Read More

Obstacles ahead… and behind.

Posted on January 13, 2015

On the sneaker heels of my “addiction” rant, is this one, today: About how I’m being denied my trail-jog addiction. And how this one betch is killing my vibe even when I’m not. You see, I try to make my jogs a peaceful thing. Calm. Tranquil. The opposite of how I used to be at the gym (“The answer’s yes – if you’re on the machine next to me, we’re.. Read More

Are blaming and taking responsibility mutually exclusive?

Posted on January 13, 2015

I write about addiction a lot – articles I’ve seen and whatnot. But what I don’t usually spotlight are the comments I peruse after the article. For example, this one struck me today and I wasn’t sure why at first: “I’m a social worker who works to rehabilitate chronically homeless addicts in the USA. This article raises a lot of valid points that the non-addicted population needs to be aware.. Read More