Miss Ashley Pants

Ashley

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5 Do’s ‘n Don’ts for the common cuddle. Are you failing?

Posted on January 8, 2015

On the heels of my “smile more” article, we’re going to work on hugs. While smiling affects others in a mirror-neuron kindofa way, hugs do the same in a more in-your-face kinda way. The similarity is that both can make you happy, both can reduce stress and thus illness, and both can be spread just as virally as those illnesses you’re not getting from doing them. So after you’ve mastered.. Read More

Why I love the slutty rawness of American Apparel ads.

Posted on January 8, 2015

American Apparel catches a lot of crap for having racy ads. I never given them much thought in times past, but I kind of love this sluttily advertised line now. In a sarcastic fist-bumpy kinda way – a fist with the center finger extended at convention, that is. I mean, there are a shiz ton of other company ads out there (Bebe, Victoria’s Secret, Guess, even Yurman) that also use.. Read More

Going the extra [s]mile

Posted on January 8, 2015

“It takes fewer muscles to smile than frown…” That’s bullshit, you know. It actually takes ten muscles to smile and six to frown. Roughly. In fact, some people have more “smile” muscles than others, apparently. While I’m not sure how that works (and not sure if I like the fact that someone else has more muscle-potential than I do #grincompetition), it is being said that making the effort and bridging.. Read More

This kid’s badass and a half

Posted on January 8, 2015

Are young kids getting smarter? Or was I just a particularly stupid child? ’cause this lil chick’s making me seriously question that: Don’t be fooled by the girly “Little Miss Sunshine” gear or the face full’a makeup. This kid’s 100% and a half bad ass. And she proved it after the plane carrying her entire family crashed into the Kentucky wilderness last week. After coming to, she made the horrible.. Read More

Why I’m never relaxed at yoga class… and the solution.

Posted on January 8, 2015

“Yeah, they never tell you you’re doing a good job.” This was the (paraphrased, probably) comment my buddy and fellow kinda-yogi had to say about yoga instructors. He lives across the country – so it’s nice to know this stingy-with-the-compliments theme is something universal when it comes to the nation’s Zen quest. I’d have felt kinda alone and insecure otherwise. Which I do anyway in these classes a lot of.. Read More

Musings on future-trippings

Posted on January 5, 2015

Some days, hippie guru advice is just annoying. I can’t be bothered with it. But on others – when Chandler’s couch is a metaphor for getting crushed by consciousness – I’m magically more open. Such was what I encountered today when I clicked on this Youtube video some yoga chick had made about “releasing fear”. Her point (painted in what some might call fairly esoteric language) was that when we’re.. Read More

Vacations: frills and chills? Or cheap and tropical?

Posted on January 5, 2015

Last year, on a day not terribly different from today, I was dreaming of spring. And as I did, I ended up writing an armchair-interactive-travel blog. In it, you all boarded my plane and we jet-set off to the Ice Hotels of Switzerland and Kinkade-esque Christmas towns, before staying at some strange underground aquarium ceilinged bedchamber at the bottom of a luxury resort in god-knows-where. Remember that? That was fun… Read More

Root for the villain! (Gaston impersonator.)

Posted on January 5, 2015

You thought I forgot about you, my fellow badboy fanatics. Didn’t you? Well, I didn’t. Because today, we’re celebrating: Gaston. I guess I’ve been a bit off ever since birth (or at least soon after) because I remember watching Beauty and the Beast when it first came out – and when I saw Gaston, I ignored how into himself he was and thought Belle was a dumbass and a half.. Read More

Acclimate to climate, not primates.

Posted on January 5, 2015

There was a freak rise in temperature yesterday. And man did I need it. Short sleeves, windows down, music up… ephemeral heaven. I felt unstoppable as I badassed my way through the day. It was funny, though, I’d been dismantling my Christmas tree, when I went outside to get some fresh air and realized that it was so warm it was on the verge of humid. It was a startling.. Read More

Dat vengeance, doe.

Posted on January 5, 2015

Sometimes, on my sunrise runs, I’ll hear too-close for comfort gunshots. You’re not allowed to hunt in these woods, but people do – when they think they’ll be unseen. I’m not that well read on hunting, but I assume it’s a morning sport – judging from when I hear the proximate firing. It doesn’t bother me, much. Generally, I’ll don a bright red or pink something to make sure I.. Read More