On the heels of McCannibal hoaxes and viscera valuation, I couldn’t help but wonder- Wait. Alright. Let’s take a break for you to appreciate why I’m so delighted by such dark topics. (Blame childhood Bugs for everything.) Ahem. So, anyway, what I wondered was what’s the calorie value of cannibalism? Just how much punch does people meat pack? Lucky for me, a study was done by lecturer James Cole in.. Read More
Ah, the text message ellipsis. It’s the ultimate face slap. Unless promptly followed by a reply, it means you’re being ignored. And that might make you feel some unpleasant feelings. Espesh if you’re the parent paying for the little brat you’re trying to reach to use it. This is why one mom came up with an iphone app to freeze the handheld device of the kid cold shouldering them. But.. Read More
Back in elementary school, we had those “how’d your parents name you?” discussions. I remember hating these convos because my own moniker was inspired by a fictional man in a classic movie called Gone With the Wind. In an act of defiance against being named in such an insulting and unsexy way (not only was he a dude but one who kinda looks like Kenneth from 30 Rock), I vowed.. Read More
Mmmkay, class. Starting off class with a nature documentary today. Was it wrong of this guy to interfere with nature? Some have compared this to slapping a cheeseburger out of someone’s hands. I feel like that’s a stupid analogy because the cheeseburger isn’t mooing for its life anymore. We’ve neatly cleaned our hands of that task by allowing the slaughterhouse to do the work. If this mantis were about to.. Read More
Ever woken up in a tub of ice, plus one scar and minus one kidney? I’m lucky that this inconvenient side effect of being young and dumb and drunk and hanging out with questionable Europeans providing questionable recreationals in questionable locales – was never one I experienced. In fact, as I sift through my historical chronological baton-pass of bad decisions that was my lifestyle choice for so long, I come.. Read More
I get confused about Frankenfood. When I hear the word “GMO”, I think “Monsanto”. And when I think of the ominous “Monsanto”, I imagine the HQ factory being located in a castle atop a windy hill, behind creaky iron gates, where the backdrop is always either a dramatic thunderstorm or dark clouds forebodingly prepared to transform into one at any given moment. And, naturally, an unnatural field of corn and.. Read More
Anyone else think this’d be cooler if it were the “scalding hot water challenge”? Kidding. Kind of. I mean, trends like these already catch a lot of flack and get dubbed “slacktivism”. And while that’s one way of looking at it, I kind of like them. It’s not just because of the ALS awareness raising. (I mean, that’s good and bless the hearts of anyone going through this god awful.. Read More
(Zing fish FTW.) Let’s pause. I’m not a fan of McD’s. It’s got Pennywise as its mascot and the bottom of clown satan’s pitchfork is its golden icon. And now that that’s been said, I can say this: I’m also not a fan of going along with shocking “news” blindly just ‘cause it aligns with my preexisting beliefs about crappy meals. Sometimes I’ll fall prey to my own brain trying.. Read More
Prayer. Tell, me – what’s the first thing that came to your mind just now? For me, it’s that slutty Madonna video I loved as a child. The irony of it, like most of her work (rocking cone bras and talking god) appealed to me because even as a kid I seemed to get the general idea about religious hypocrisy. Even now, the word “prayer” always brings to mind the.. Read More
Why does Monday get so much hate? Unlike you commoners, I enjoy a nice job that I can do from home which allows me to not have to worry about Mondays anymore. But that’s mostly because you end up working every day when you can see your techy-work-station in some form from every piece of furniture in your house… and you like what you do. However, I stand by the.. Read More