Miss Ashley Pants

Ashley

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Say what you mean: 5 Facebook posts that need tweaking

Posted on November 9, 2014

I keep seeing this thoughtcatalog.com post floating around about “Facebook statuses that need to stop”. Anyone see it too? As the title suggests, the author finds five major genres of status on social media annoying enough that they “need to stop”. And while I definitely don’t disagree with the vexing nature of some of these (okay, all) shares better reserved for the shrink, something kind of annoys me about the.. Read More

Church of superstitious: Is OCD any diff than wood-knocking?

Posted on November 7, 2014

“Stop it. STOP IT. STOP THAT. STOP DOING THAT!!!!1” This is the internal monologue I have to consciously fight from vocalizing as a family member to three obsessive compulsive disorder sufferers. And it’s pretty bad when I – a crazy person myself – get this vexed by someone else’s psychosis. But, I suppose, that’s the reason itself: one can only observe too much Nicholson a la “Good As It Gets”.. Read More

My anaconda don’t want none…

Posted on November 7, 2014

“Take it. Take it all.” Said the filmmaker (not really, but probably in his mind) to an anaconda, before cocooning himself (whole body, not just his dangle as the misleading quote that never happened suggests) up and being swallowed alive by him. While the event hasn’t happened yet, filmmaker Paul Rosolie does indeed intend to do exactly that. And then he’ll share the video footage in a month. And just.. Read More

WTF are these sky holes?

Posted on November 7, 2014

Is there finally something more terrifying in Australia than wolf spiders? Like – aliens Chuck Norrising through the sky and leaving rainbow laden Donnie Darko portals ? When the poor frightened Aussie townspeople gazed above to witness this phenemoena, they took to twitter to marvel in shared amusement. Was the rapture finally here? Did I make the cut? Am I going to get last minute cut because I think the.. Read More

Pennywise’s pit wisdom

Posted on November 7, 2014

I’m in love with this gutter wisdom. And not just because of the delicious irony that accompanies imagining Pennywise’s raspy voice – snarling this positive thought through his yellowing sharpened shark teeth and across sanguine shaded lips. Nay, sir. This doubles as a “it’s funny ‘cause it’s true” for sure. I was telling my mom the other day how I never felt less spiritual than sitting in a church pew… Read More

50 Shades of Cray: Do rape fantasies make your inner goddess dance?

Posted on November 7, 2014

Alright. This one might be slightly “heavy”. But I feel like it must be relevant to current trends. Especially since I can’t seem to escape that “50 Shades of Grey” book turned movie lately. This little story’s got everyone’s panties in a twist – from the feminist bloggers who feel like free speech shouldn’t be a thing when it offends their ovaries to those who just like the idea of.. Read More

More cinematic shade-throwing on FrankenFrozen

Posted on November 4, 2014

Okay, I promise I’ll post a blog about some of the good parts of “Frozen”. Eventually. Not today. Because, for right now, I just can’t focus on Froze Pro’s until I get the rest of the unforgivable cons off my chest. Let’s – for a moment, if we can- forget about how godawful the storyline and misplaced characters were. Let’s not even analyze the bad songs and the missing pieces… Read More

Cringeworthy Creepers.

Posted on November 4, 2014

They say that pain shared is pain halved. But shame shared? That’s hilarious. That’s why this grab-your-popcorn style fun story of Ariana Grande’s 29-year-old “stalker” (quotes because all he’s really doing is sending her random gifts and is probably harmless) didn’t end with the things homeboy bought her. Like a three piece hanging mirror set. Eight yankee candles. A cheap necklace. Kitten calendars. A rock from one of his travels….?.. Read More

Technology toddlers: how soon’s too soon?

Posted on November 4, 2014

During the four or five years I worked in a healthcare field, I’d see all kinds of parents. Managing their small and bored kids as best they could, in all kinds of ways. As these moms (usually moms, but sometimes dads) managed to squeeze my medical place of employment into their day between PTA and soccer practice and work, I always found it really considerate when they also managed to.. Read More

Disappointed in Dunham?

Posted on November 4, 2014

Yes, I’m a bit disappointed in Lena Dunham. Not really, but kind of. And no, it’s not for “molesting her little sister” (when she was also a child herself). It’s more for sharing her story honestly and openly (Bold move. Fine. That’s why we like you.) but then angrily jumping up and feeling compelled to defend it when people with I-disagree opinions took to social media to throw shade and.. Read More