Listen, everyone… I was kidding when I said let’s do a “Melt Your Face Off With Fire Challenge”. But before we get to the scorched meat and potatoes of world star hip hop, first some world-culture-context: One sunny day, not long ago, I sat perched in a waiting room and half-read this super sad article. It was about these teens who immolate themselves ($5 word! It means “set yourself on.. Read More
Some people just aren’t bout that crime life. Usually, these people are the ones who aren’t very good at it. Like some New York Taco Bell supervisors who tried to think outside the funny money formula of the crooks who’d come before them… and failed miserably. And when they got caught, it was by their own 17-year-old employee who knew the difference between real money and Monopoly money and wanted.. Read More
With fall forthcoming, what better way to festively celebrate the seasonal change than by… …dancing on the graves of Native Americans? Who also killed settlers for coming there?! (#MetaDeath) That’s right. A Halloween twofer! Not far away from me, yonder in West Virginia, there’s this creepy old amusement park with a quaint bit of entertaining history…. … Bought in the 20’s, Lake Shawnee Amusement Park was built on the burial.. Read More
“That’s so stupid – they’d be TEXTING in real life. Not talking.” It’s funny. I find myself saying this every time I can bring myself to give a new movie a try. But, then, when I recently saw “Disconnect” and then one half of “The Fault In Our Stars” (which I couldn’t finish because it was taking too long to move the subplot about the blind-kid along so I got.. Read More
I had the most terrifying “my god, you’re right!” truth bomb dropped onto me recently. It was this lil nugget o’ knowledge: (I kept this image small. For obvious reasons.) This inoperable tumor on the fear lobe of my brain that normally tells me, “Just squash it! Hit it with a book!” has been the bane of every non-sleep since my reading of it. What do I do? Murder this.. Read More
Back in spring, I gave my plea to Starbucks to bring back seasonal drinks. I meant then. And that was only because it was still freezing ass cold outside. I was at a point where I was downing ventis less out of a need to stay awake and more to stay warm and entertain my taste buds since playing outside was a non-option. Even so, they defied my agonal cries.. Read More
When I was little, I remember hearing about prime time tales of microwave murder. Small animals and babies were the quick-shock stories, while the slow-death of “standing too close” to the buzzing magic machine were more cautionary for those of us with the “watched pot never boils” syndrome. Even so, we were willing to wait and gain tumors, so long as that “never” held the sweet promise of a majestically.. Read More
For our next RFTV, let’s give Heath Ledger’s “Joker” a round of applause. This character was one to root for two fold because the story had legs to it. And those legs were rooted in a sad reality, even though we see the final product of a fantastical classic narrative – which also has layers: a comic hero (Bale’s Batman, “The Dark Knight”) and his nemesis played to perfection by.. Read More
I woke up with a demon’s claws in my eyes and neck this morning. It was the kind of neck pain that makes you go all bleary eyed as your dead relatives beckon you from the end of a bright white hallway. For me, it was just an ickier than usual one of my morning pains that awakens me like a spasmodic rooster crow whose vocal cords are my nociceptors… Read More
Ahh, so that’s what those hippie crowns are for! Here I thought it was an accessory, but it’s really been attached to a brain scanner that lets you know how to be more calm, focused, and serene when your chaotic thought neurons start firing off. Ah, wait – okay. Nope. Sorry. Re-reading the article, it’s only this newer Muse headband some chick called Ariel Garten came up with that’ll do.. Read More