Miss Ashley Pants

Ashley

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Science says: no more drillings and fillings!

Posted on June 21, 2014

Hate brushing your teeth? Too inconvenient to be hygienic? Can’t be bothered? Me either. Let’s just let them rot now… and then remineralize them later. ’cause that’s a thing we can do now. That’s right. A painless way to counteract cavities has finally been discovered. Researchers at King’s College in London created a way to circumvent the usual annoyance that goes with the wake up call that you’re a shitty.. Read More

SOSial Media

Posted on June 20, 2014

What’s the best thing social media’s ever done for you? Served as a chronological detailing of your life? Acted as a digital therapist and soap box? Landed you a friend collection so that you can pretend you’re popular? Well, I bet it hasn’t saved the only dad that sired you. But it sure did for 10-year-old Brianna Vance. In a story that helps partially restore my faith in kids’ abilities.. Read More

Wrongfully convicted dude rightfully sues for $162 mill

Posted on June 20, 2014

Remember the suicide scene from Shawshank redemption? Where old dude Brooks gets out of prison after forever, tries to acclimate to this alien world, and just hangs himself instead? He’s like “fckk this noise, I’m out this bish.” I remember seeing that as a kid and not understanding fully. I mean, the guy was finally free. Why end it now? In my child-mind it was hard to consider what a.. Read More

Snackderall

Posted on June 20, 2014

Remember back in grade school when we’d trade our goods? Lisa Frank stickers? Happy meal toys? Beanie Babies? Drugs? A kid recently made the news when he tried to trade his Adderall to his classmates for delicious Cheese-its. Far more epic than that actual attempted (reasonable, in my opinion) barter, was his mom’s response to the whole debacle. When asked to come speak to the school officials and authorities, she.. Read More

Stephen Hawking suggests we recon the cosmos for a new home. Like, now.

Posted on June 20, 2014

Stephen Hawking says we should get our asses into outer space fast. But like… why should I listen to the smartest theoretical physicist since Einstein? I do what I want. Well, I won’t be able to do what I want when I come back next lifetime as a mouse or mouse dung fungus. And that’ll suck for not-so-badass-anymore me. ’cause Hawking insists we can’t live on earth indefinitely – not.. Read More

These theme parks are ridiculous

Posted on June 20, 2014

Still don’t know where to spend summer? Why not pack up the family and take the kids to one of these theme parks that probably shouldn’t exist? First up: Loveland Wait – was that the human centipede I saw in there? Located in Jeju, South Korea, this adult theme park opened in 2004 to “break barriers of sexual social pressures”. And who’s responsible for this brilliance? 20 Hongik University students.. Read More

Pet reactions are everything.

Posted on June 19, 2014

Seriously. A few youtube videos of Fido acting the fool can turn my whole week around. It’s hard not to think of them as furry quadraped people some days. And thanks to the internet, this belief has been reinforced for me. In my top three videos for this week (which is close enough to being over than I can award winners now), there’s the hound head-tilt, noise-cessation reaction, and culpable.. Read More

Most lifelike android: kill it with fire.

Posted on June 18, 2014

Well… the world’s most lifelike android’s been created. …aaand I’m flucking terrified of it. After sitting through the whole video making this face… … I tried to sort out my feelings. And speaking of facial expressions, that just might be what makes this damned Geminoid (which means “twin”) thing even creepier. Using these mechanical devices called actuators, the robot is provided a more lifelike aura by being gifted all those.. Read More

I can smell your text.

Posted on June 18, 2014

Remember that prank Google played a while back? About scratching and sniffing your iphone or something? Well, it’s not so far-fetched a concept anymore. Some nutty professors over at the Olfactive Project have come up with a device called the oPhone. And, as demonstrated by this dude (who looks like Vincent D’Onofrio and Mark Ruffalo’s lovechild), you can send something as recognizable as espresso via text. (Wait…Who types like that?.. Read More

Chinese dingle trap?

Posted on June 18, 2014

Where is YOUR favorite place to put your penis? Between some of the Hollywood movies I have seen and tales told by the men I know, apparently there are many an adventurous penis out there. And the desire to have a perpetual sausage Odyssey is so great that men and little boys alike have let it lead them through their lives like some fleshy legless horse drawn carriage. And I.. Read More