Pro-Christmas-nating: The act of putting off X-mas shopping yet another day when you don’t have that many days left to get said shopping done anyway.
Well, Minnie had talked me into doing exactly this. So we settled for a family picture in some Christmas gear, cuddled, and watched the Deniro movie that launched a load of psychopaths to stalk Jodie Foster, attempt an assassination of Reagan, or send Bjork an acid bomb before dining on a bullet.
I digress.
Anyway, it was shaping up to be a decent evening, midnight rolled around, and… the fire alarm went off.
This isn’t news. We have these douche-tards who keep pulling the fkkng alarm every month or so at the worst time of night. So, after shoving my contacts back into my eyes, throwing random valuables together into a purse, grabbing my dog, and making my way outside, I realize it’s raining and freezing and windy.
Deciding it was a better death to slowly inhale Carbon Monoxide and drift off Sleeping Beauty style than to catch another round of the flu/strep cocktail I endured this past week, I finally went inside.
And the alarm… proceeded… to BLARE… for the next three hours.
It was like Chinese water torture – except with fire. Fake fire.
Poor Minnie tried to be a good girl, but she finally walked out of her bed toward me, begging me to make it go away. So… I tried:
When my mom bought me some lovely ear muffs, I told her that regardless of whether they were Kors or not, I wouldn’t wear them because they were real rabbit fur. I never took the tags off, but I also never returned them. They sat in the closet until finally last night, when I put them to good use as I tried to muffle out the sound of that awful noise.
Minnie, on the other hand, got to dress up like an Italian grandmother. Her ear pinnas already cover her ears better than mine do, but as a dog, I assume she’s more sensitive to sound anyway – hence the scarf wrapped round the ears.
Anyway, that was my night.
There’s apparently a $1,000 reward for whoever figures out who this arse-hole is, and turns him in to the authorities who’ve had to waste their time coming to indulge the anonymous boy who cried wolf.
Alluring as a chunk of change may sound, I have VERY different plans for this asshat should I be the one to find him first:
xoxo
<3~A