The weigh I see it.

I could waste a lot of time looking at optical illusion images. That’s mostly just because I suck at the ones where you have to search for something in the spaghetti patterns. But I suppose it’s also because my truculent head contents refuse to give up on trying to make sense of something nonsensical. All of once have I won at those posters you used to see in a mall.. Read More

Handies for the handicapped.

So… one courageous volunteer group is giving new meaning to the term “handicapped”. Like, as in, their hands on your mushroom cap… if you’re disabled and mayhaps can’t DIY. The rundown is that it’s a bunch of people who volunteer to do “second base” kinda stuff for those whose physical setbacks preclude them from having normal reaches or even takin curr’a bidniz themselves (like if you’ve got a muscle waste-y.. Read More

I’m in love with a corpulent Ukrainian

“Can I have the breast pillow?” Typical question to ask. If you’re a chick. And if you’re walking into the back of Massage Envy while inquiring about supportive accessories that’ll make your lady accessories comfortable while laying down during your session (they aren’t huge, but I can’t relax the backs of my shoulders if my chesticles are vexed). A less typical reply? The one that followed, issued by my portly.. Read More

Detoxes work ’cause they detoxify dollars outta your bank account.

So, today’s the second time in a week that I’ve heard detoxes are bullshit. (Well, specifically, they’ve all been titled “Why Detoxes Don’t Work”) So, naturally, I wonder if that’s accurate or not. Something else I wonder is: what does this fascinating piece of body language mean? (Is that, like, all the shit being shepherded from your colon’s sides? By bits of detox juice?) Reading over this argument, the claim.. Read More

Activate Plan B

I’ve been putting off sharing this shitty update for a few days. Because: pride. (Get it? Lion? Pride? Eh? Eh?! Moving on.) I’ve wanted to get into this PTA (physical therapist assistant) program for a bit now. Ya know, so I can play magical messiah, lay hands on people, and have them cry and shake and bow before me (‘cause that’s totally what it’s like). Back here in reality, I.. Read More