Stop crying over spilt Starbucks. Espesh if it’s free.

What do you do when someone gives you a gift? That you hate? You smile and pretend like you’re totally not gonna throw away the fabric holocaust that is this sweater which makes your shoulder and hips look like Melissa McCarthy’s body on a quasi-normal face, right? Or hit PetFinder – to find a home for the pup you were gifted who can’t stop chewing the furniture? And by “furniture”,.. Read More

Should “It Follows” be the new high school sex-ed film?

I used to love horror films. But, in my old age, I’ve become a milktoast pussy. Maybe it’s the whole living alone thing. Maybe it’s the lack of chemicals that used to make hewn limbs dancing around weak narratives seem like “art”. Who knows. All’s I know is that gone are the days of Rob Zombie-thons and pausing my life to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre when it came on T.V…. Read More

5 albums that don’t blow. All the way through.

Don’t you miss those albums where all the artist’s songs were good? Like, you could just tell they tried their hardest to pour their heart into every last track before shoving it out into the world? Lately, it feels like most of my former faves’ll produce a few gems (assuming they wrote them at all) and then simply shit into the rest of the record’s empty track gaps. And while.. Read More