As I sat in traffic coming from an interview out on one of Saturn’s rings yesterday, I realized something. More like a reminder, really. I suddenly understood why so many people have drinking problems and recalled why I myself used to consistently enlist the assistance of valium to survive another night on earth as we know it. I mean, Jesus. When I was working outta the home before, I had.. Read More
A.) How has no one else used my title as clickbait yet? B.) Monica Lewinsky? Doing… a TED talk? (This is my new “Chloe at Disneyland”. You’re welcome.) Now, I try to be open minded when it comes to hearing what people have to say. So, when I heard that Monica Lewinksy’d done a talk for TED, I tried my hardest to curb the eyeroll and hear her out. Unfortunately,.. Read More
Kat Von D (who admittedly knows her way around an eyeshadow palette) is in the shit today. And why? Cuzza some name she gave one of her lipsticks: “Underage Red”. Terrible right? I mean, here she has this killer collection with the likes of a lip pigment called “Lolita” in it, and she settles for “Underage Red”? Actually, I suppose that my problem isn’t that she called it that –.. Read More
After sitting on the windy dock late last night for ages, I resigned myself to the cold (literally) truth. I’d been trolled. I wasn’t gonna see an aurora. That might sound like old news, considering the fact that I live in Northern VA; a few latitude lines short’a borealis qualification – usually. However, yesterday, I was informed via the trustworthy media that we geographic peons the celestial princess of pink.. Read More
As the adopted mother of a rescue shih-tzu myself, the infamous Marnie is one of my fave girls. Which is why she earns this week’s #WomanCrushWednesday This wobble necked canine was saved at around ten years of age – when her temporary monicker’d been “Stinky”. Much like my stinky girl, it was due to tooth decay. After a generous mom-to-be (who she affectionately self-references as her “bae”) adopted her, though,.. Read More
So… I’m interviewing for a P.T. job tomorrow. And I’ve already got the jitters. Naturally, I’m trying to curb it with some literary unleashing – to get my mind off any anxiety – and all I’m seeing is link after link about (what else but) interview tips. Everything from what they’ll ask to how to carry yourself to “make eye contact but not Christian Grey level eye contact”. So, in.. Read More
Ya know, of the yoga docs I’ve seen, all the old Indian men say the same thing about Westernized yoga. Between the commercialization, the teachers traipsing in late – green drink in hand, and the mantras uttered in perfunctory fashion with nada background knowledge on what it actually means, we’ve lost the meaning of yoga. Lost it in transatlantic translation. The literal def, the big time spiritual OG’s will tell.. Read More
“Is this right?” “No.” “How about now?” I asked this from my awkward squat position, while donning a giant grin that just begged for my Qigong instructor’s approval. Jorge Banales laughed and shook his head, ushering over the one other student – with a couple decades more (not just in age but in somatic awareness practice overall) experience to example-set. Ya know, so I could learn the hard stuff. Like.. Read More
If I regret anything about tattoos, it’s that I didn’t get another one. Don’t worry – I’m only half serious. But had I gotten another, it’d have definitely been a watch on my wrist that says “JUST BREATHE, BITCH.” As a chronic spastic, I have so much trouble remembering the first rule of life club: breathe. Suck in air. Push it out. It’s so simple, yet I find myself suffering.. Read More
“When did Dunkin’ Donuts go full orange?” I wondered this out loud the other day, while driving past the infamous fast food sugar joint. This place has been up in my hometown since I was a kid, and its design’s always been an even mix of pink and orange – not this new sunset colored theme. “It looks like Auto Parts store. Or a biohazard bin,” I thought. And it.. Read More