It is with great pride and a warm heart that I’d like to announce this: In nine months… there will be a delivery happening in my world. Lighting up my darkened life. Bringing tears of joy to my eyes. Making me want to break out into all the Disney-esque songs I love and maybe even a few I hate every time I see him: The Starbucks delivery man. Now that’s.. Read More
Much like Princess Anna’s trek up the mountain, I knew I was in for a long haul. And I didn’t even have any men’s lives or sleds to destroy along my way with DDS (damsel in distress syndrome) In fact, it was a man putting me in the distress… of watching “Frozen”, finally. “If you don’t”, he threatened, “I’ll steal your firstborn and put her in a tower. And when.. Read More
As you might expect, Google Glass isn’t allowed in theaters anymore. (I love it when an approp gif doubles as an example In this case something worth not paying to see.) I’m guessing they would’ve made it illegal from the start if there was an easier way to spot them. But since modern movie goer pirates rock four eyes instead’a one plus a patch, maybe that’s why the MPAA has.. Read More
When we hate the way things are today, we have to change them. As a society. And have a revolution. Obviously. For example, I don’t think I’m alone when I say I hate the way things are today. I mean, literally, today. Not “these days”. No, this fateful fall day where we have to lose an hour of daylight in the evenings. Sure, I have a home. And I get.. Read More
We work out all sorts of different body parts to look good and train. So… why not our brains? That was (in so many words) the pitch from Lumosity many moons ago when I first saw an ad for it. “Brain games” purport to boost your memory into your golden years and even make you better at math. So, after about the millionth time seeing one of these things, I.. Read More
When my sister and I were kids, we’d play this game. Usually it’d happen spontaneously – when we had to convene with our parents in a place and situation (holidays, reunions, rides to church) we didn’t wanna be part of. And then, just – outta the blue – when the moment felt right, we’d break into a spoken-word, bookish college professor toned rendtition, paraphrased, improvisational back’n forth… of the popular.. Read More
I’ve heard of a pedo-bear, but thanks to the Houston fuzz, we’ve got a new one: Podi-bear. Because this 26-year-old foot fetishist Texan cop just got charged with “official oppression” (first time I’ve heard that term before) for pulling over a pothead chick, and going all Jigsaw wanna-play-a-game-or-go-to-jail on her with the most convoluted sextortion I’ve ever heard of. (For a routine traffic stop, anyway). While the story seems to.. Read More
Would you ride in a windowless plane? I don’t mean some blind metal tampon rocketing through the sky so that cloud-god has to wonder if we’re having a party in there or dead like Schrodinger’s cat. I mean one with screens of live images blanketing the entire interior of the plane – showing what’s happening outside instead of actual windows. Because that’s what’s coming in the next ten years, apparently… Read More
Ah… the old familiar feel of carbon monoxide fume intoxication taking over. The coffee in your tummy, sloshing to and fro from the stop and go. The “I’mma be late” induced heartburn. Just another typical morning commute. And to make matters worse, you’re stuck behind one of those annoying Dunbar vehicles, wondering what fraction of the cash inside that mothertrucker it would take to solve all your first world problems… Read More
What do you think when you see a flock of well fed fellow Americans waddle into the mall? After having parked in a handicapped spot? Let’s be honest. The first thing our brain’s gonna say is, “Wow.” Then, the second thought would be, “I wonder how big the mess would be if that got hit by a semi?”. But the third thought might just maybe be, “I wonder if that.. Read More