I just want to take a moment to thank the genius creators of Adventure Time. And my friends who – after eons of prodding – got me into it finally, a couple years ago. I remember thinking, “Why the eff would I voluntarily take time to watch a cartoon?” Sometimes I’d watch Family Guy, but even Peter & Co. had gotten old by that juncture. Funny – but formulaic with.. Read More
When creative writing is your job, you’re always looking for creative solutions for everything. How to maximize productivity, how to cultivate creativity, where to seek motivation, and even life applications – like how to outsmart your internal pity parties. It took me a bit to realize that the two (work related and personal) can help one another out. That’s likely because I did a lot of reading. And when I.. Read More
I might have to renege on a recent post suggestion I made. Remember the floating oak worms? And how I made this long, drawn out emotional appeal to save them and carry them over to some foliage so that they can finish feasting and eventually metamorphosis into angelic, fluttering beauty? Well, I didn’t think that through. ‘cause if this shiz below is what we’ve all got to look forward to,.. Read More
“You’ll all be seeing each other in your swimsuits. You just have to get used to it.” I heard this a few months ago from a lead instructor in the physical therapy assistant program I’m trying to get into. And, I’ll be honest, it was slightly jarring. I mean, there’s this constant clash in my mind of “it’s just a body – who cares? You’re a free spirit! We’re all.. Read More
You wanna know what’s worse than seeing celebrities in my Facebook sidebar? Thinking I’m seeing a celebrity’s name when it’s something else I might actually be interested in. Before you know it, a title about this creature called an “opah” fish is forcing me to think about Oprah Winfrey. Along with a series of facepalm worthy mentally constructed montages of all the times she’s compared guests who are mourning lost.. Read More
I’ve long said the forest is magical… …but I wasn’t expecting the worm version of some Harry Potter shiz as soon as the weather warmed. Somehow, I don’t recall seeing these things this time last year. But then again, that might’ve just been because I was too preoccupied with doing a complete and constant, frame by frame while in motion, optical securing of the perimeter to make sure there weren’t.. Read More
“I guess I’ll just go eat my feelings now.” It’s a common catchphrase you’ll hear me jokingly say. And a common jest for many others too. Using food to deal with feels. But what do you think of when you hear “eating disorder”? A Youtube montage of sad, skeletal waifs set to Sia’s “Breathe Me”? Meant to be a deterrent, but really acting as more of motivation for aspiring anorexics?.. Read More
Anyone else see Ex Machina? No? Well, get out your life-rafts and de-boat this bish. ‘cause there’s a spoiler-berg straight ahead. The story follows Caleb, a young programmer who wins a trip to visit a programming genius Nathan (who owns “Bluebook” – a fictional equivalent of Google) at his massive state sized estate for a week. Why? We dunno till he gets there and is asked to sign away his.. Read More
Oh, lawd… McDonald’s reimagining of the Hamburglar is an even bigger fail than I’d anticipated. Yet, it’s going to succeed cuzza how they’re employing this giant wad of facepalm. McD's is after me (apparently, so is my wife)! Tweet #RobbleRobble to keep them off my trail. https://t.co/JBVThrmHir — McDonald's (@McDonalds) May 12, 2015 (I hate to encourage them by embedding this, but I reluctantly am ’cause it’s relevant) Because they decided.. Read More
Well, I’m in love. And I’m officially in a relationship. A sapphic, incestuous tryst of bestial proportions. Because I’m henceforth spoken for. By my fur-niece. Who I’m stealing very soon. (50 Sheds of White – the love story of home-wrecker and non-housebroken…) This bish genuinely thinks she’s a lap dog. And I just don’t have the heart to hold up the mirror like Elephant Man’s antagonists, and reveal her true.. Read More