I’m just gonna leave this here for a moment:

This is one of many images in the “Adipositivity Project” by photographer Substantia Jones.

And while I can agree that, yes, Miss Jones can take the hell outta’a snapshot – regardless of what’s in the frame – I’d be lying if I said that obesity itself is beautiful. And hear me out before I get crucified for fat shaming people. ‘cause I’m not fat shaming people. I’m fat shaming fat – when it gets to the level of obesity. I’m shaming the attempted exalting of it. Not the people suffering through it ‘cause they don’t know where to start in order to change, but a confused culture using this other-end-of-the-spectrum from anorexia to confirm an equally awful eating disorder is okay. They’re both wrought from some sorta intrinsic discontent. Is that beautiful? So, no obesity may not be beautiful, but these women def are (and I don’t just mean the sexy faced, perfect featured chick in the middle, either). Their grace and soulfulness shines through in these images as they’ve loosened up and let down their guards. I love that. It makes for the kinda photographic phenomena that only transpire when the right subject and snapper of pics join forces. So, again, the women are beautiful. But the excessive fat is not – because of what it clearly denotes – and which you can see in some of the sadder looking pics. That they have fat on their bodies at present does not make them hideous human beings. If I put on a dress that accentuated my man shoulders, would it make me an ugly person? No, you’d tell me to take it off and put on something more flattering. But what if it was the only thing I owned to my name? Well, then you’d tell me to work my ass off and earn enough money to replace it – if for no other reason than to not stand around naked on laundry day.

The similarity with that reachy analogy is that we’d both hafta work hard over time to get what we need.

Make some changes.

The difference is that while an ugly outfit is just aesthetically displeasing despite serving a function (presumably to keep warm) excess fat is more of a surplus of warmth we don’t need that hinders well being and survival. And while the unpleasant brain response we have when seeing it may be partially cultural, it’s also to do with an important biological drive – where we’re attracted to what’s healthy. For example, really unsightly folk turn us off because they could be an indication of a mutation (bad for offspring).

Meanwhile, the corpulent are often considered a turn off because the likelihood that they won’t remain healthy enough to either bear or care for young seems evident. Mind you, there are fetishists who seek out heavy lovers solely for their fat – which is sad because you’re still not falling in love with the person – but I’m not talking about that at all. This isn’t meant to shame anyone into dying as a foreveralone because of their adipose armor. It’s also not aimed at the freshman fifteeners or post-holiday inner tube carriers. It’s aimed at those for whom overeating and obesity – not mere chunkiness – has become so habitual that it feels like who they are. I come bearing good news that’s not news: fat is not who you are. It’s how you are right now. Your current condition. And because it’s based in a habit, you can change it if you like. By changing your habits.

The provided biological proclivity examples are merely to spotlight a fact: that being obese is unhealthy for you. And that it can change if you like. It’s not like some cancer that’s presumably out of your control (resisting “mind/body healing” tangent). But it can become a cyclical thing because the unhealthy shit you’re overeating makes you more depressed until being doomed to a status of “fat” becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. And I think that’s what’s upsetting when I see images. The untapped potential I see of people who maybe have just never tried another way due to lack of self belief or fear of the unknown. (If you’ve never been healthy, how can you possibly know how good it feels? What if the 24 hour benefits of health don’t feel better than cheesecake tastes?)

These ladies are lovely; however, it’s not about it not being lovely or no one loving you. It’s about you loving yourself enough to remain in good and balanced health enough to kick ass in this world. I’ve never met a superfat person who was legit happy in all aspects of their life without lying about it. I have met and heard from a lot who say they fake being “jolly” as a defense mechanism – like maybe if they’re first to make a joke about themselves, then no one else can or will.

(They still will, but if it makes you feel better you said it first, then well done.)

I suppose the problem is that it takes a sorta inner void to do anything to excess. Even when I myself mindlessly stress binge on fruit, the world kinda narrows into the savory object of my lust – as with indulging any addiction. And I think that’s the big indicator right there that it’s not just about subtracting stuff from your dinner plate, but adding new habits to your daily plate. That’s the only way to combat any compulsion. And, should you happen to be the one heavyweight out there reading this who spends his or her life in perpetual bliss that’s not followed by the comedown that inevitably follows seeing the bottom of your takeaway box, then awesome! But why are you reading this? People who are sure of themselves don’t need my effing perspective. This should affect you about as much as water off the back of a duck vacationing in the BP spill waters.

But if you’re reading this because you’re secretly sad and doubt your life choices, good on you.

It takes humility to admit that. Lucky for you, here in MAPSland, we seek solutions. And there are indeed answers out there that don’t require a fee from you that matches your current scale numbers. Or any fee. At all. No, this isn’t a pitch. I don’t get paid to endorse anything. I’ve just tried something similar and – at the risk of sounding like a hippie – it was transforfuckingmational. They don’t require anything. You go to these free meetings, hang out, make friends, and go home. And maybe feel like making better dietary choices once you do. It costs zero point zero dollars to speak with a buncha like minded folk as you seek a new way of living. So, if you’re intrigued, please give it a try and avoid getting sucked into thinking you have to pay money to change – the same way society has sucked us into thinking there’s one size that’s “beautiful”. You don’t need to aim to mirror the model on your Jenny Craig package, catching fire betwixt your thighs on a treadmill as you chase after a unicorn none’a us’ll ever be, have a heart attack instead in the process, and eternally associate exercise with evil. A legit program will ease you into change and provide another solution. A legit program will show you how you’re your only competition. A legit program will show you that health is what’s beautiful – and how to go after it.

And as an example, here’s one big girl who shows how to have your cake and work it off, too:

(That bish solid AF. She’s big but not obese. You don’t get that tight or strong from sofa surfing.)

In sum, with respect to “adipositivity”:

Being slightly overweight is not obesity.

Positivity about body image and health is good.

But we don’t have to misuse positivity to convince ourselves obesity’s anything other than detrimental to health.