Wanna get paid to watch T.V. from home?
Eh, I dunno. I have a tough enough time doing actual computer work from home. Once I get lost in work I have to do online, trying to “unplug” my brain from alter-reality can feel almost as painful as Neo going between the Matrix and that electrode dental chair thingy he’s strapped into. This machine is a weapon of mass distraction when it comes to productivity.
But at least when I’m writing, I suppose there’s both learning (what I wanna write about) and creating (the actual writing bit) involved. Although you wouldn’t be able to tell it from the non-quality of my musings, there is indeed a bit of outside-the-box that has to happen, lest my scribblings amount to little more stylistically than See Spot Run (second only to Clifford and Goodnight, Moon in deserving a Nobel Peace Prize of literature.)
That said, if you’re less of a creative agoraphobic and more of a lazy agoraphobic, why bother trying to change for the betterment of society? Especially when Netflix is prepared to let you sit back while giving your mind a blowie by way of binge-television and pay you for it? If you’re willing to work from home and have flexible hours, you can get paid to gorge your little mind on the latest series. It sounds like the only actual work you do is in reviewing the shiz you’ve just watched and creating prospective tags Netflix can use. The catch? You hafta have some film school sort of background and (for now) the only participating countries are some of the foreign ones with the Eliza Doolittle accents and shamrocks.
Although England and the U.K. are the only places participating right now, don’t be discouraged. Think of it as an investment where you work hard now by getting a film background of some sort (do they offer that at community college?), and you’ll be ready to pay the toll with your degree when they finally call the Land o’ Plenty into the game. Work hard now. Couch-jockey soon. #fiveyearplan
As for me, I can’t even enjoy gorging on shows I actually like anymore. More than one or two in a day and I start to develop a whole disorder. It starts with feeling sick and nervous and confused about why I’m overly identifying with fictional characters surviving dystopia.
Then I start to assume the emotional atmosphere of the series.
Sure, it’ll start innocently enough – forgetting there’s a fat man wielding a microphone dangling like a foamy robot phallus just behind the camera. But before I know it, I’m checking between the blind slats for the undead to begin emerging from the thicket. I don’t like artificial feelings. For whatever reason, they’re not as fun as they used to be when I had a glass of pinot or some benzos to augment the experience of slowly morphing into a plane between reality and HD, where Alexander Skars-whatever was my vampire lover.
So… Netflix may want to pay me to watch Netflix.
But Netflix probably also wants me to pay to watch Netflix.
The fun thing both these facts have in common is that neither are gonna happen.
#onlinestreaming #thatswhymypccrashes