So, I just saw this amazing vid on the Yellowstone effect that happened when they added just one species to the mix.

The idea was that all these animals were wandering around in this near-dystopian land. A buncha the bastards were eating up all the shrubbery, grazing the landscape away, and making the national park look like a flora infested outdoor crack house. Then, like some magical just-add-water answer, they added… wolves. And harmony was almost immediately restored. The deer decreased as they became un-evolved dog dinner – and kept doing so, till they learned to score the easy-attack pastures zero stars on the community Yelp page.

(’cause for those who didn’t listen, literal yelps were the last thing they’d be doing).


“We got jumped by MS13’s White Fang chapter before the appetizers even arrived; this post is from the afterlife.
(One and a quarter stars for the excellent service before our waiter was also eaten.)

As a result, lush vegetation sprang up – meaning more types of ground animals could come, opportunistic birds could fly in to hunt them, and even the water ways ultimately altered – ’cause beavers saw some prime real estate and obviously opted to Bob the Builder that shiz with wood. Naturally, when that happens, lazy neighbors from all around come to cash in on all the beavers’ hard work and collect a dam[n] welfare check. (Actually, that’s where my metaphor falls short – at least their payment back is that they contribute to the ecosystem.)

And… Voila.

They plop a pack’a pups in the park, and the badlands do a magical transformation like something outta Fern Gully.

(Dunno if that was an actual scene, but I feel like it was.)

Plus it kinda feels like that when you hear the narrator whimsically paint the tale with a sparkling auditory paintbrush:

Naturally, as a selfish person, I relate this back to me and my social world.

Actually, it’s not that selfish, I suppose. After all, really, we’re part of nature. We are nature. You can put on a G.Q. suit, build four walls to live and work within, and drag around an I.V. with a steady flow of ‘ccino intravenously sustaining your twelve hour workday. But it doesn’t change where you come from. (“Hoboken?”) No. I mean – evolutionarily. If all this crap we built could and did change our essence, then we’d be able to keep up with all the stupid expectations we set for ourselves without getting unnecessarily stressed out and we wouldn’t manifest phobias and addictions to hang onto to cope with carrying out aforementioned stress-inducing expectations. That’s where the apex predator – like the wolf – comes in. We can learn from our four legged friends how to stay on task. Now, this isn’t gonna turn into a political system simile – ’cause we’re talking social motivation within the workplace – where attack mode happens on a PRN basis. For the wolves, said attacks are about taking what you need to survive. Just because they could massacre everyone, doesn’t mean they’ve got a McScrooge basement filled with Bambi corpses (well sometimes, but rarely). They hunt, but only when they need to. Likewise, keeping the subordinates in line should be an attack-only-when-needed type’a thing.

And that’s how every good boss I’ve had is – present and ready to strike when I’m standing around in an open office field with my jaw ajar and drooling (see: Monday before 10 A.M.), but falling back when I and the rest of the team are aware and doing our job to survive another pay period. You see their yellow-y eyes hiding in the thicket, and it’s a reminder to stay on task, without them having to say anything at all. I worked at a vet once and – while most of the docs I answered to were amazing – there was one (We’ll call her Dr. X) who was always breathing down every tech’s neck – just waiting (not even waiting, if we’re being honest here – and why shouldn’t we be?) to tell us what we were doing wrong. Or how we were about to do it wrong. (I suppose “psychic” was somewhere on her C.V. along with the 5 year plan of dying alone covered in furry effluvia).

That’s not conducive to productivity in an office or clinical ecosystem at all because there’s no hope for the employees of winning, surviving the day’s tasks with sanity or validation intact. Every turn you take, an attack is waiting. Ultimately, the whole herd dies off ’cause the structure goes to shit after the negativity does a viral spiral outta control. Obviously, this is a thing I personally don’t hafta worry about at present. In fact, it’s been so long since I’ve had a shit boss that I had a slight PTSD moment just remembering Dr. X there. But, the point is: be like the wolf. Seeing as everyone at some point’s in a power posiche, that advice goes for bosses and everyday Joes ‘n hoez alike. If you’re in any kinda apex position, take what you need and spend the rest of your energy contributing to your environment.

Or, ya know, don’t bother.

’cause when Yellowstone’s supervolcano blows, you, me, and all those furry fckkers are gonna die anyway.