Ever slept in contact lenses? And then you wake up? And it feels like the tooth fairy came in your sleep but instead of giving you dollars for your dentin, she just used her own to eat your eyes? Today we’ll learn that eye-eating is indeed exactly what’ll happen if you leave in your lenses for half a year. Like this Taiwanese chick who kept hers in for six months… Read More
Chilean aliens chillin’ in the skies
So, science found a f’real UFO? Mhmmm…. Right after we disprove they did the pyramids, they come to get credit. Typical. Well, what’s in it the shiny saucer? Is the apocalypse finally happening? Have they made demands or taken prisoners of war yet? Are they going to eat my dog and make me watch to study human emotion? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet. In the skies of.. Read More
Pyramids built by blood, sweat, and… lube?
Holy Annunaki, Batman… the giant pyramids weren’t made by aliens? As fun as it is to pretend some almond-eyed creatures from The Fourth Kind were responsible for descending outta a wormhole in the sky and into the era of King Tut to erect majestic pyramids, we always knew there had to be another way. (Right, guys? We knew that? Guys?) Whatever your beliefs, hopefully most of us have been trying.. Read More
Science says: our brain’s power button’s been discovered
They say that soon we’ll be able to merge our brains with computers. But what if there’s already a built in computer-like component? Like – a power switch that knocks consciousness on and off? Indeed, it may not be long before “… and how does that make you feel?” gets replaced with “Did you try turning it off and on again?” A recent study done at GWU managed to access.. Read More
Can plants hear themselves dying?
Can plants hear themselves dying? As bad of news as it may seem for us leaf eaters… maybe. Apparently, plants can apparently act defensively – and they do it in response to being eaten. Or… knowing they’re about to be eaten. In a study done at the University of Missouri, caterpillars learned this the hard way when their lunch of leaves demanded they leave – by producing defensive mustard oils… Read More
Laughter makes us better tee-hee-heem players
Laughter may be the “best medicine” – but I like to know where my drugs come from. So, I did a lil research. While I’ve written about comedy before, I’ve never managed to get to the causes behind the actual act of laughter. From an evolutionary standpoint – why would we do that? What purpose would it serve? With language or circumstances, it’s usually to do with learning something in.. Read More
X-ray mini gun, activate!
Superman’s easy access lasers may not be far off. Kinda. Not really. (I just wanted an excuse to share that amazing superpower I wish I had.) Although I’d love an intrinsic capacity to pupil preen the follicles from my stems, unfortunately this’ll only include the x-ray vision part and it’s in the form of a gun, not glasses. Or injectable superpowers. Also, it can’t see through pants – which is.. Read More
Copulating in the cosmos
Ever wonder what it’d be like to get down… up there? While I’ve always wanted to venture off our spherical home and float around in the safety of an oxygenated, temperature controlled vessel for a while – I’ve always thought how surprisingly unsexy sex in space sounds. Sure, loving while levitating might be alright, but thoughts of jizz whizzing by and turning tummies make it sound slightly unappealing. And would.. Read More
One fish, two fish, grey fish, lazy fish.
I found out this week that Kurt Cobain lied to me. On a post I recently saw, apparently science has shown that delicious fish can indeed feel pain. Dude, I wonder if he realized this and that’s why he went to go live in the woods for a week before throwing the deuce up at the world in his greenhouse? Mayhaps – but I imagine the heroin and his own.. Read More
Science says: no more drillings and fillings!
Hate brushing your teeth? Too inconvenient to be hygienic? Can’t be bothered? Me either. Let’s just let them rot now… and then remineralize them later. ’cause that’s a thing we can do now. That’s right. A painless way to counteract cavities has finally been discovered. Researchers at King’s College in London created a way to circumvent the usual annoyance that goes with the wake up call that you’re a shitty.. Read More