The hour and a half spent at the salon, sitting in a horrible chair, exacerbating my stenosis while getting “blonded” is mitigated only by the latest and greatest girly girl magazines of the month. I get unnecessarily excited about makeup and clothing; Thus, Allure, Marie Claire, and Vogue all help me get through the ceaseless sciatica misery. Even the crazy just-for-the-catwalk outfits are sometimes fun to view for giggles. But.. Read More
Fake Akin
Dear Todd, as I’m sure you know, it’s almost my birthday and I just wanted to remind you that when that day arrives, you’ll still have roughly a week to obtain a court order for a withdrawal from the race for senate. Great news, right?! Don’t wait too long to make it official, sweetie. If you’re all lost, I’m referencing this gem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fdisTOKom5I When I first heard this, I thought.. Read More
Nyad Cat
Heard of Diane Nyad? Well, I hadn’t, until recently. Through multiple jellyfish stings, she’s stopped only briefly for peanut butter and water, all the while replaying to herself to a “mental” playlist (I sometimes to do the same thing during my boring low impact cardio with real music) to get her through the 103 mile swim to which she has committed. The cherry topper? This amazing woman is turning 63.. Read More
iBlog
After years of passive aggressive remarks from catty ass betches, like “Oh… are you sick?” or “Did you get enough sleep last night?”, I wondered: Why don’t you just say what you mean, slut? For insstance: “Oh Em Gee, just LOOK at those under-eye dark circles, you tacky looking ho! I mean, I don’t really care if you’re sick or not; I just want to draw attention to how awful.. Read More
Healthy or Die(t) 101 & Intro to Unconventional Anatomy
Not that teachers are failures, but if my spine ever fails to heal and I never get a chance to do what I really want, maybe I’ll become a Biology teacher JUST so that I can rock these amazing pants for instructional purposes on the anatomy/muscle section of the class: Although she looks a little like the scene from HellRaiser where the chick comes in without her skin on, and.. Read More
Ash-letic Salad
It’s a sick day for me, so I thought I’d catch up on a little writing and share a recipe with you. Of recent, my friend encouraged me to try out a more “plant based” diet. Thus, I bought a juicer, a bunch of produce, and things like maca powder, bee pollen, coconut oil, and have since been experimenting with mixing up my newfound dietary ingredients before coming up with.. Read More