I’ve always been curious about that whole marriage ritual. Ya know? Like the jewelry, for instance. Why the left hand? Why the hand at all? Somehow, I just feel like it would be more appropriate if, instead of the finger, the ring went on the toe. And, actually, instead of a band at all – it were a tag: Ah. Yes. Far more accurate. It’s interesting how easily I get.. Read More
And now for a heartwarming story. One about a dog whose heart (and every other organ) was almost over-warmed to the point of going night-night fur-ever, when his owner left him roasting in an oven on wheels. A Desert Storm army vet turned into a twice-over hero when he broke the glass and rescued the poor panting pup from a hotboxed vehicle. The critter’d been left with no water whatsoever.. Read More
Fkkn finally… A death simulator is here. When I read about this new 4D thrill (or “shrill”, as they call it) ride in China that simulates death, cremation, and being reborn – I was excited. But admittedly, I wasn’t as excited as I could be. That’s just because I’ve long said that I wish there was a virtual reality experience that brought you as close to death as possible so.. Read More
So, I was tagged in this post today about the rise of the “Dadbod”- asking for my opinion. So, I suppose I’ll sound off. The feather-ruffling essentially surrounds the whole double standard of how moms are expected to maintain an acceptable level of body karate, while “Dadbod” gets championed (beer belly, low maintenance, poorly manicured facial hair, and other miscellaneous things to add to the nitpick list). Ya know, like.. Read More
So, I was just singing along to my summer soundtrack today, when everything went wrong. True to summer form, I was bumping some Jack Johnson, and halfway through the lyric “…makin’ Banana Pancakes, pretend like it’s the weekend”, I started accidentally going off on a musical AdventureTime tangent (“makin’ bacon pancakes…”) And then, my thoughts went haywire from there. Just like anytime there’s any remote level of mind clashing synchronicity.. Read More
“Oh, we can’t do that today…” My dad and I had just shared a bit of convo over coffee the other day before heading out for a game of putt putt golf. The topic? “Creativity and inspiration”. I’m not sure how we got on the topic (probably me talking about how badly I was procrastinating on doing my writing for the day), but he started relating a story to me.. Read More
“Tragedy is an ambush predator – learn to tame it.” Yes, that’s because (if you’re well read) you’ve seen that over at RichardLand. The brainmusement park that’s outdone itself yet again in expressing what I always wanna say but never can as eloquently or coherently with my 34 word sentences and irrelevant metaphors running in opposite directions like a posse of cockroaches being approached. (See?) For instance, his recent piece.. Read More
Don’t ask me why, but this quote on the mind kinda blew mine the other day: “Whatever you’re doing, right now, you’re physically altering the structure of your brain to become better at it.” It seems simple. And I shouldn’t have been that wowed by it. But, as a habit-hacking seeker who constantly gets trapped by my own tedious tendencies, it grabbed me on more than one level. Whatever you.. Read More
Logically, I get it. Sloths are innately slow creatures. We’re all just supposed to accept that and believe they’re not lying arseholes. We even use the two words interchangeably – it’s why the junkie in Se7en got strapped to a bed and force-fed dope into his veins till he ate his own tongue off. (Best PSA for drugs ever.) But, still, sometimes I can’t accept that they aren’t just trolling.. Read More
Jesus, they’re really floundering, Mc-Dee’s, aren’t they? I mean, first it was the too-late all-day breakfast offer after a million and four light years of people begging for it and not getting it. Then, more recently, it was them suddenly jumping on that whole delivery bandwagon – beginning with a few New York locales. And now? Now they’re going after the affable cartoony characters – starting with the Hamburglar. Apparently,.. Read More