Ever wonder what it’d be like to get down… up there? While I’ve always wanted to venture off our spherical home and float around in the safety of an oxygenated, temperature controlled vessel for a while – I’ve always thought how surprisingly unsexy sex in space sounds. Sure, loving while levitating might be alright, but thoughts of jizz whizzing by and turning tummies make it sound slightly unappealing. And would.. Read More
Ah, profanity. It can be such a relief to let loose those aggressive little words. And according to science, it just might not be such a bad thing all the time. Not terribly unlike Jay and Bob, I too grew up in a house where we would all occasionally morph into Linda Blair and vomit out a cocktail of lewd invectives from a spinning head when we felt powerless or.. Read More
What puts you in a mood to make up creative magic? Music? Vodka? Nap? (“And how’s that werkin’ out fer ya?”) Creativity ain’t easy. It’s that brilliantly infuriating gift where we can’t always harness it to do our monetary bidding – yet it’ll wake you up at 3 A.M. in a sweat and beg you to scrawl down the fountaining thought-froth brimming from your brain like something you put in.. Read More
You know that stupid Back-to-the-Future meme that keeps trolling us? The one about “this is the date the DeLorean did that thing in the movie with the time travel”? Well, whatever it was, you can forget it. Because the only date that’s gonna matter in real life from now on is 2017. Why? Because that’s the year when hoverbikes (no, not boards – sorry) will finally be available for me.. Read More
So, if you fork out $2,000 for a meal… what would you expect to get? I’m thinking them actual forks better be doing musical numbers. Because that’s exactly how much the fee is to dine at Hard Rock Ibiza’s new restaurant, Sublimotion. The establishment just opened this past May in Playa d’en Bossa and it sounds like the perfect place for the rich and wanna-be-famous to sit around and perform.. Read More
Ever dread something so much that’d you’d fake your own abduction to avoid it? Work? Jury Duty? Your friends forcing you to see Frozen Part 2? (It’s only a matter of time.) Well, one little shit faked his own kidnapping to avoid… wait for it… the dentist. The twelve year old hates his dental check ups so much, that he ran away to a neighboring town. When he was found,.. Read More
The winner for world’s ugliest dog is in. And this year, Peanut (who looks like a furry rage meme) won the contest’s highly coveted title. Even though we’re apparently so egocentric here in ‘murca that we dare to call it “World’s ugliest” (when no other nation’s actually compete in this canine competish of hideousness), I still think it’s effing adorable. And it makes my heart swell with equal parts glee.. Read More
I used to love retail therapy. There was something really comforting about clutching a café mocha while traipsing through the local mall and pretending I was more rich or important than I was because I had a few bags that could hold the load of clothes instead of my unchecked emotions for a short while. *Sigh* Sometimes I miss that blissful ignorance so much that I’ll head to Victoria’s Secret.. Read More
I found out this week that Kurt Cobain lied to me. On a post I recently saw, apparently science has shown that delicious fish can indeed feel pain. Dude, I wonder if he realized this and that’s why he went to go live in the woods for a week before throwing the deuce up at the world in his greenhouse? Mayhaps – but I imagine the heroin and his own.. Read More
Remember how crazy high-school schedules used to be? Waking up early and zombie-trotting off to class? Retaining zero boring info the first hour? Wondering if we were dead or in a lucid dream? Yeah, well scientists are starting to question whether early start times are good. But, a study recently done with the aim of looking at that shone some light on more than just those dark hours of morning… Read More