This week in mom-convos with bratty kids, there’s the trending Makenzie with her dirty laundry, iphone shortcut hacking, and predilection for LSD.

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Seriously.

There are so many questions. Like:

What size house are these genetically linked stranger-roommates living in that they can’t just ambulate to communicate face to face?

Where’s her phone charger?

Doesn’t the mom know enough English to attempt some sort of diction circumvention?

Why does Makenzie have more unread texts than there are seasons of The Simpsons and Sixty Minutes combined?

I feel like “crack cocaine” would have been a better choice, comically.

That last one wasn’t a question. Moving on.

Anyway, I see a really simple solution to all’a this nonsense for the mom

Option 1: Think outside the hamper. “Do you have any: laundry, unclean clothes, grimy garments, clothes to be washed, ropa sucia, dirty duds, garments marred with your skidmarks, etc.”

Or

Option 2: “I see you’ve rigged my texts, darling. Since you’re so good with machines, maybe you can figure out how to use the washing machine yourself.”

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