Anyone else watch “Louie” or “Inside Amy Schumer” here?

Anyone else feel like they’re both kinda sorta striking out this week?

If you’ve read anything else I’ve written, you probably know I adore them both, so when I say that what they put out this week was subpar, you can be sure it’s outta love. And why do I care? Because I generally save up my comedy faves (which – now that “Workaholics” has ended, is Louie and Amy) for a laughturbation marathon of dulling my mind with funnies. So when they’re 0 for 2 on educing the usual euphoria they do, I start to seriously doubt how refined my own giggle palate is. Why would you want to do such a thing to loyal fans?

First, let’s start with Schumer. And highlight the good bits. For instance, there was an excellent guest cast:

Paul Giamatti… Dennis Quaid…

Jeff Goldblum doing things like this…

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Also, there was a series of outtakes so fantastic that the fact they didn’t use those instead was the only “crime” here. (If you didn’t get that quote-ref, it’s a hat tip to the theme of her episode itself.) This week was Amy’s “12 Angry Men” sketch. Instead of the usual arrangement of five or so sketches (interspersed with standup, and topped off with a human interest interview), this time it was just one long sketch about 12 dudes on a jury trying to agree on whether or not Amy was hot enough for television.

This episode layout might’ve been fine (for what I’m guessing was the finale to this season? Or else – what was the point of the different format?) if it’d been a tad more element-of-surprise level funny. Or maybe a different subject matter. Espesh when self-deprecation through the conduit of male judgment is your running gag. It can work, and it did work beautifully in previous episodes (the two-way-glass one and the gang-bang sketch). Just needed a different angle maybe. But, as for that overall message, I suppose I’d be betraying my double-X chromosome coven if I didn’t acknowledge that the message is a good one about how you can pitch the haterade back in the Hollywood shade-throwers’ faces – even if yours looks like a cabbage patch doll’s (her self-insult; not mine). It’s a good and important message that’s easily dismissed – which is why it’s even more important to make sure you’re roofie’ing the crowd with sufficient giggles as you slip it into their consciousness. She almost always manages that. But, unfortunately, here it just feels… a bit… reprocessed? And adorned with celebrity guests in an attempt to mitigate that fact? What could’ve redeemed it at least 25% more was the outtake she didn’t use but should’ve after the Dennis Quaid judge says the jury rules (#spoiler #eyeroll) that she’s indeed aesthetically acceptable enough for basic cable. What they used:

The outtake response they should’ve used was: “But I was on trial for vehicular manslaughter!”

Even that zingy ender would’ve been better than the one they employed that was so regrettable it was almost forgettable (But I think it went: she leaves to get her dildo; Quaid rates her ass a 4 as she departs; Ashley has eyeroll migraine). Despite all’a that, there were at least a few chortle inducing quips (“So… you just keep that in your coat in case a dildo based argument breaks out?”) and retro-stylistic devices that dredged a smirk outta me. There was that. Plus, I tend to think that half of what was missing from the skit was Amy herself. Half the fun is her delivery and she’s apparently just better as a self-directed actress than actress directing A-listers.

Either way, I appreciated her show even more retrospectively once I put on the even-more repackaged weekly “Louie” episode. To be fair, I couldn’t carry on watching it past the point where he comes up to Bobby’s apartment and sits on his couch, so maybe something spectacular happened and I missed it (Did I?). But I feel like two episodes in a row of annoying, intrusive characters interjecting themselves into Louie’s life is three too many. That’s how disturbing it is. I’ve only seen one and a quarter of this theme and that’s enough to launch the whole concept into an entertainment deficit until I’m making the signature C.K. scrunchy-brow face myself. Which is not a cute look for me. And a pretty good sign that what I’m watching isn’t… funny . It’s just too grave. Somber. Like an indie film without the redeeming soundtrack or dreamy Coppola camera filters. (*Insert my overused Joker’s “Why so serious?” gif here*) What happened to the days of episode one of last season – lucid dreaming that the garbage men are pouring into your room, physically in your bed, and clanging cans over your cranium because they’re so loud? That was relateable. That was gold. This latest stuff, though?

Even on a dark-humor level, it’s not comical. Ya know? The whole reason I turn on this show in the first place? Not to watch an obstreperous cop character act like a whiney asshole for the better part of an hour like I did last week. You’re telling me I waited a whole seven days to watch some end-era-of-Marlon-Brando looking sibling character do the same thing? Sigh. I’m sorry, Bobby actor – whoever you are; I’m sure you’re lovely IRL. Clearly I’m taking out on you this cruel and unusual punishment I’m unjustly receiving from my diabolical God.

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(Who was also played by Giamatti in an earlier, funnier Schumer sketch).

But, I guess I get it. Both Louie and Amy’ve been on for more than a couple seasons now. It’s only so long before even geniuses like these start to run out of material. Still, some’a this stuff just feels like 100% improv – like they went in sans a script and made it up as they went. And it’s not working for me. It’s a tragedy to be dealt with immediately. In fact, I feel like we should start one of those support phone lines they do after an earthquake in a foreign land before it gets any worse. Who of you will donate? Who of you will be a hero? Who of you will please give my beloved cable clowns a funny bone marrow transplant for the humor leukemia they seem to be suffering through this week?

Thank you in advance.