Okay. “Clap App” may not be what they call it. But they totally should. Let’s call a thing a thing. Poke a little fun at your current sitch after unprotected poking. Because what’s more hilarious than someone who has an app on their phone dedicated to furtively Fed Exing chlamydia kits (gonorrhea too!) to your personal residence? Let’s just think about this for a moment. Why do you have the.. Read More
Hot dog stuffed crust? What next? (I’LL tell ya what.)
You know that feeling you get at the end of a pizza slice? Where you jettison the end bit with the burnt crust to the edge of your plate? And you feel all good about yourself because that’s like at least 500 calories (out of the 10,000 you just wolfed down) that you didn’t consume? Well, don’t get too comfortable with this ritualistic delusion of possessing will power for long… Read More
Do you even thrift, bro?
So, this is my new form of self-gratification entertainment: Lately, I’ve been Youtube binging on other runners who also have spiraled down the deep rabbit hole of nature cardio. Trail jogging junkies. And, I’m not even going to pretend that it’s like my other view gorge seshes. No. This shiz is next level. It’s like porn for your feet. The moment I watched the above one, the skin of my.. Read More
#30daysofnewthings: the heartest challenge yet?
“I’ve got something you can do for your 30 Days…” my physical therapist told me. Despite my 100% reverence for him, I admittedly wanted to eyeroll. Or smirk. Or both, I’m not sure which. We were both in one’a those “mid-week” kinda moods. But for him, I imagine, it was even more frustrating. After all, I hadn’t been in in two weeks, my spine and hips were all misaligned, and.. Read More
P.C. postural pain – and the wizard ways to eradicate it
A little less than a year ago, I was standing in Dick’s Sporting Goods trying to decide if $40 was “worth it”. Worth not suffering the kinda posture that turns me into a shuffling 30-year-old geriatric, that is. And that’s what the standard foam roller would cost me to DIY style work out the kinks I’d caused myself with rotten posture. “Why bother?” I wondered, reasoning that “well if I.. Read More
Detoxes work ’cause they detoxify dollars outta your bank account.
So, today’s the second time in a week that I’ve heard detoxes are bullshit. (Well, specifically, they’ve all been titled “Why Detoxes Don’t Work”) So, naturally, I wonder if that’s accurate or not. Something else I wonder is: what does this fascinating piece of body language mean? (Is that, like, all the shit being shepherded from your colon’s sides? By bits of detox juice?) Reading over this argument, the claim.. Read More
Korean girls trying American snacks (video)
As a yes-and to my Brits-getting-fat-in-America diet, comes this fantastic video: I didn’t make it through the whole thing (cue Sweet Brown meme). But about halfway through, you start to get a really good idea of just what our food’s done to us. Koreans who’ve never had the pleasure of dining on the SAD (Standard American Diet) try some of our most iconic snackfoods – from pop tarts to Twizzlers.. Read More
5 Do’s ‘n Don’ts for the common cuddle. Are you failing?
On the heels of my “smile more” article, we’re going to work on hugs. While smiling affects others in a mirror-neuron kindofa way, hugs do the same in a more in-your-face kinda way. The similarity is that both can make you happy, both can reduce stress and thus illness, and both can be spread just as virally as those illnesses you’re not getting from doing them. So after you’ve mastered.. Read More
Morphine-ated mozzarella: why you’re addicted to cheese
“The government’s trying to control my mind? With cheese?!” *Eyeroll.* I saw this comment on an anti-cheese post today. About five years ago, I’d have been right there with the best of these people, double fisting pitchforks – one to stab cheese slanderers with, and one to stab the nearest block of Gouda and eat it whole. Even when I finally quit cheese, it wasn’t for any of those anti-establishment.. Read More
Dr. Oz is not the cause of your probs
“We’re off to buy prescriptions! Prescriptions from T.V. doc Oz! Because because because because… E-ver-y-body else does!” (Ya know, instead of that suggestible marionette meatwad ya got in there?) I may sound like I’m slamming Dr. Oz here, but I’m actually about to do the opposite. Seriously, did he refuse to join the illuminati or something? ‘cause homeboy’s been under some serious fire of late with all these stories popping.. Read More