Move over, “Is there god?” “Are there aliens?” “What happens when we die?” There’s a new… gown in town. Nobody cares about the larger existential questions regarding the universe anymore. All we want to know is: what the actual fluck color is this frock gone viral? It’s madness. I saw the thing pop up on James Franco’s Instagram late last night, and by the morning, the apocalypse was well under.. Read More
Robots will raid your wardrobe this year.
Well we all knew robots were taking over the globe. But our clothes? Hold onto your Wall-E seats (mostly ‘cause you’re too fat and can’t move anymore and nothing else is in reach) because in mildly ridiculous news, the latest sartorial technology is this robot… that zips and unzips your clothes for you. Granted, I see this working beautifully for the handicapped and old people (even though maybe the robots.. Read More
The Walking Denim: JNCOs resurrected from grave of grade 8
Back when I was in the middle to high school era, the 70’s were making a comeback. The halls were filled with daisies and smiley face tops, platform shoes, and bell bottom jeans that looked like our spindly legs had been supplanted by dual Dysons made of denim. We even resurrected such phrases as “Groovy” and “Keep on truckin’” for god knows what reason. And as I’d traipse off to.. Read More
Why I love the slutty rawness of American Apparel ads.
American Apparel catches a lot of crap for having racy ads. I never given them much thought in times past, but I kind of love this sluttily advertised line now. In a sarcastic fist-bumpy kinda way – a fist with the center finger extended at convention, that is. I mean, there are a shiz ton of other company ads out there (Bebe, Victoria’s Secret, Guess, even Yurman) that also use.. Read More
Versace versus F.U. flip-flops
Who cares what you wear when you’re a billionaire? Better yet – is the non-caring what makes self-made successful people… successful? The opening scene of Clueless always felt like a cuter version of what we all go through in our heads upon opening the closet doors in the morning. Does it match? Is it right for today? How did my crotchless chaps get from the dungeon up to my daytime.. Read More
Youthful Fashion: Hooker, hobo, or schoolboy?
It’s always nice to hear people say you don’t look your age. (Assuming they don’t mean you actually look a decade older thanks to sins of your past). But I always assumed before people were just being nice – until more recently. What’s the change? Is it the lifestyle mods? Or could it be the less makeup/more cardio combo I’m rocking? This past year, I tried (for the first time.. Read More
Hating on my favey designers deservedly: “Clothes by any other name…”
You know, I always loved using high fashion to get people to think I’m relevant and matter as a human being as much as the next person. But, in the past five years or so, I’ve noticed: when I don’t like my up-till-now designer’s latest look, I can’t lie to myself or you by wearing it or even saying something nice about their ugly ensembles on deck for next season… Read More
Urban Outfitters’ “Kent State” massacre shirts: not a political statement, but totally could’ve been.
Urban Outfitters’ “Kent State” blood-stained sweatshirt was recently yanked from shelves. My initial gut reaction was that it was horrible and callous they even made this sort of thing, regardless of how long it’s been since protestors were murdered by the National Guard. That feeling hasn’t changed – but as someone damned with non-linear thinking, my devil’s advocate has a strong voice that also wanted to analyze all sides and.. Read More
Tis the season to be squeezin’… into skinny jeans
It’s already September. Which means we all have to ask ourselves: Are we ready for skinny jean season? I was born ready, bish. Sure, Fall’s here. But if you’re like me, you might be living somewhere in which the pagan gods are still blessing you with an Indian Summer…. Native American Summer. …still warm weather. Which means we still have time – so don’t stow those breathable bottoms just yet… Read More
Dress codes are life ruiners for everyone
Staring sidewards at sexy people was half the fun of school. Whether it was high school or college, my biological inclinations would tell me “he’s sexy”, “she’s sexy”, or “that’s sexy” (whenever I got back my badass biotech grades). But now, the University of Texas nursing program is taking a syringe and sucking all the fun out of college by suppressing expression via exposed flesh – but only for vagina.. Read More