Afraid of catching cancer in these last dog day rays of summer? Don’t be! ‘cause there’s plenty of other ways the sun can kill you! Like the solar flare headed for earth! (Jesus. Sometimes I forget just how small we are.) Actually, we don’t have to worry about leaping tongues of fire raining on us like lightning streaks from Olympus just yet (hopefully). The recent X class magnetic explosion that.. Read More
A man called Max is moving to Mars. Permanently.
I’ve always said I’d like to do a bit of space travel. But moving to Mars indefinitely? Becoming an Outkast of planet blue skies and bird-chirps… permanently? You crazy? Maybe, but for this dude Max, it’s been his life goal and dream since youth. Now 26, he’s got a shiz ton of astro-college experience of varying levels and science degrees under his belt. He even studied at a micro gravity.. Read More
What’s that smell?
The first time I came home from college, the house I grew up in seemed so different. I couldn’t figure out how… But it’s the same thing that happens after a long holiday away or having just spent the summer at camp. It all seems so foreign. From the outer façade, to the windows, to the walls, till the sweat drips down my balls because where the fork and knife.. Read More
Holygraphic universe, batman!
If you’ve heard of “holographic universe” theory, it may’ve left you a bit… …speechless. Honestly, I didn’t quite “get” this Matrix-y idea the first time around and it’s still a bit vague for my little brain. But, simplified, it’s this complicated theory about the concept that black holes might keep information they suck in (not destroy it) and how our whole reality is being projected back out at us from.. Read More
Decapitated head exacts revenge
And now for a real life story about a severed snake-head who came back to life… …to kill the man… … who killed him. That’s right. It’d been guillotined and garbage-tossed for a full twenty minutes before the bodyless serpent launch outta the litter to annihilate the chef who went Queen of Hearts on his ass while trying to make snake soup. Well, Elle, it MIGHT have been cool if.. Read More
Ebola – now available in the U.S.!
Let’s say you have ebola. There’s at least a 50% chance that you’re going to die a horrible domino effect of shutting down organ systems as you hemhorrage from every orifice you own (sorryboutit). And there’s no official known cure yet. Whatchya gonna do? Well, the answer for a couple missionaries visiting over in Africa was to bring it back home. To be fair here, though, I can honestly say.. Read More
Orchard Sorcery: Farmer Artist Builds 40 Fruited Tree
Art is nice, but let’s face it: a lot of times, it’s overrated. So some super famous dude painted something that I also could have done. So what? Can I eat it or use it as a weapon it after the asteroid hits earth and basic life needs are all that matters? Probably not. I enjoy a good gallery exhibit, performance piece, or random installment as much as the next.. Read More
Four winged dinosaur? Mmyes. I’m listening…
So… a four winged dinosaur was discovered! I dunno man. While the science kid in me was totally enchanted when I first heard this, the let’s-ruin-christmas-for-myself side of me was like… “wouldn’t that just slow it down? Or make it go in big vertical circles?” How the eff’s that supposed to work? Indeed, Changyuraptor yangi – the majestic relic related to velociraptor – did manage to “find a way”. Magic?.. Read More
Blowing up your home in the name of arachnid assassination.
So, a man burned down his house trying to kill a spider. Mmmyes. I can already identify with this story. After seeing eight legged satan in his laundry room, the man did what any sane person acting rationally and calmly would do: went after it with a lighter and a can of spray paint. You know, that’s good… And… I like where your head’s at, buddy. But you could have.. Read More
Hole-iday at the end of the world!
The term “the end of the world” brings to mind many things. And if you know me, you’ll understand that the major players which come to mind are 1. Aliens or zombies (or both), 2. Awesome 90’s music. 3. Franco’s flick about having a party when the rapture happens. While none of those things are what this story’s about, a crater like the one outside of Franco’s movie party-house has.. Read More