Irony is fun – but only when people “get it”. Herein lies a problem I’d like to address here and now. Trendy articles of language are a fantastic means to foster your ironic style; but if you’re chronically sardonic like myself, then that means you may employ the genre of words-born-on-the-web terminology a good deal. And that means those who don’t know you, can’t literally hear the sludgy sarcasm dripping.. Read More
If I ever relapse, it’ll be on something like this…
Though I’m living a clean life, I still get curious about mind-altering substances. Funny thing is, though, in my past they’d have been the subduing sorta stuff – the anxiety reducers, the sedatives, the things that wrap you up in a nice emotional fleece and tell you the lie that everything’s alright even though you’re failing to meet life or any of your goals halfway while half a decade passes.. Read More
Got life-hack advice? Then put it in plus-sign terms, ya negative Nancy.
I’m mentally mixed over this “mentally strong” article I’ve seen a few times now. The author of it’s this psychotherapist who went through hardship (just like the rest of us) and came out of it with fodder for a book that’s made her a lotta money. As the book’s been selling, however, the Cliffs Notes version of it has been circulating through my social media feeds with the top 13.. Read More
Does winning the lotto make you as unhappy as it makes me that I didn’t?
Now that a person who won millions of dollars just made news, it’s time to start comparing our smile-ometers. Ya know, so that we can carry on living without murdering ourselves spontaneously for being poor. So let’s consult the retro-experts on jackpot happiness: “Levels of overall happiness spiked upon winning, but returned to normal levels within a few months, and that long-term happiness for winners wasn’t significantly different from those.. Read More
Let’s take a moment to thank god for this IG account.
Let’s all take a moment to thank God for the Instagram account that brought us this: *Sigh* Finally. A photo account called “Hot Dudes Reading” is a thing. It’s like a digital nerdy version of Playgirl (Is PlayGeek a thing yet? Can we make it one?) They’re not reading from some electronic steno pad device, mind you. They’re reading real, page-flippable books. And the more I look at these images,.. Read More
And now for a trifecta of feelz-porn.
I’m not usually big on the emotional pornography – unless it does some good. And I feel like my Facebook feed is doing a good job of posting the kind that has a purpose this week. (Well done, e’rybody.) Maybe it’s that Valentine’s day just happened and everyone’s still in a lovey dovey mood. Or maybe it’s that Friday the 13th just happened before that and when we’re all terrified.. Read More
Racist lawmaker wants to put yoga pants in corpse pose. Forever.
So, a Montana legislator wants to ban “indecent clothing”. In this sarcastically quoted genre is included yoga pants, speedos and anything that shows outlines of your body bits. Specifically, Rep. David Moore proposed a bill to make illegal any “indecent exposure of a person’s private parts or simulated private parts [lolwut?] in a public place in such a way that a reasonable person would be offended or alarmed.” The penalty?.. Read More
Who am I to judge Pope Francis for judging me?
You know, it’s easy for me to get upset when I hear an opinion that doesn’t mesh with my own. And I think that feeling’s always a little bit amplified when a clashing opinion comes from someone for whom I’ve grown an affinity. Like the pope. Ya know – the cool pope. Pope Francis – the one who sweetly interrupts a large, public, recorded event to acknowledge a kid who’s.. Read More
6 things single Valentine-less you can do today
I celebrated Valentine’s Day once. It was with a boyfriend. But, really, we were just rainchecking on a “date” from another weekend. And we didn’t exchange gifts. It was kindofa fluke. Because 2-14-AnyYear is just of those holidays that’s like a magnified version of Facebook’s “someone got hitched/is in a relache/here’s their wedding album/here’s a mini babbling extension of their ego in flesh form” notifications. Except it’s all condensed down.. Read More
Yes, being sexist can be funny – if you are.
“As a woman, I endorse this,” I told my newest massage therapist. He was, of course, in the middle of describing to me the “hot versus crazy” x/y axes chart used to identify dateable women as he unleashed the week’s tension from my suboccipital lobe. I hadn’t heard of this one yet, so I made a point to come home and promptly look it up on Youtube after our session.. Read More