I had a strange dream last night – about my town being quarantined. My personal dreamweaver is pretty shitty most of the time at offering context. So, I have to assume that this quarantine that was taking place was the direct result of the recent contagion style fear sweeping the country in the form of these sporadic cases of Ebola and idiots bringing it in. Hopefully being town-bound won’t have.. Read More
Eyeroll Sunday: trolled again.
I might start to make “Eyeroll Sunday” a thing. At least until I find a day of the week that it alliteratively pairs better with. Because I take getting trolled personally. When it involves my creative vanity. Really – you can compliment or mock my fitness, my boobs, my dazzling smile or even my obviously impeccable taste for fashion (obvious in my capacity to rock a uniform of running tights,.. Read More
Airport human trafficking tips to be “Taken” into account.
Most people I know have seen “Taken”. But unfortunately most weren’t “taken” aback on an IRL level. Maybe it’s that the subject matter’s reality seems so far removed. Or because human trafficking is one of those uncomfy things we all gloss over as we scroll down the news feed. Like the Time article I just read that offers tips on how to spot a possible victim at an airport. It’s.. Read More
Turning comment sparring into a creative exercise (and ego stroker)
I always promise myself I won’t get into petty online comment volleys. So whenever I relapse, I try to do what any spiritual guru will tell me: To forgive myself and remain present through my dark hour. The other day, I managed to muddle through my giving-in by thinking outside the Youtube comment box. In reality, I didn’t anticipate to start an argument. But whenever I see a loose seam.. Read More
Troll patrol: sharing bad opinions online could get you jailed soon.
Workaholics did a great episode not too long ago about a gamer troll antagonizing them. Being that it’s “Workaholics” we’re talking about, the hapless potheads all gathered together, impersonated a SWAT unit, and hunted down the house of the man who’d been shiz talking into his headphones at them. What they were going to do once they actually got there was about as planned out as any hash-brained idea would.. Read More
MriCan’t with this video: sex and horns under a body scanner
A video of sex happening? On youtube? Inside a body scanner? I dunno what I was expecting from this “how life looks like inside an MRI machine”. In my mind’s eye, I suppose, it was meant to be something like this: Because anytime I imagine coitus plus anything technology, Bjork’s sex bots mechanically fondling one another is going to be the first thing that bubbles to the surface from my.. Read More
Eff the circus. Leave these poor fat ass elephants alone.
It’s adorable seeing animals anthropomorphized on the interwebz. Sometimes it’s even useful. Especially if you’re issuing grim life updates: And I get sick of seeing the peanut gallery and their buzz killery via shaming owners for the adorable media being shared: “Waaah… You must be abusing your dog if they’re sitting in that swing… or walking on two legs… or on fire…” You know the deal. You’ve seen the comments… Read More
Do remiss food service workers deserve to die?
Ever get fed up with food servers fccking up your order? I do. When my local baristas get it wrong (and six times out of seven days a week, they do), the worst I ever do is pitch the scalding drink at her face like a baseball for her oversight. I’d never, however, dream of shooting up the window of the drive-through like this one Californian couple did after their.. Read More
Fly the fappy skies! Guy tries to ejac. and eject from plane. ’cause – why not?
Or just twice-over-suicidal if you’re like this one masturbatory maniac. Mr. Doug Adams, a randy patron of the friendly skies, found that the altitude wasn’t the only thing rising up during his cloudy trek from Boston to L.A. So, he did what you might imagine any man heading to the city of angels while donning a hospital bracelet might do: go for a little lower auto-release. In mid air. In.. Read More
“I Know What You Did Last Summer”, IRL
Yep. It’s just like our favorite nineteen ninety whatever it was horror flick. Minus the teenaged sex, trendy music, and hot overacting prom queens. (#funfact: this is also the name of my favorite Gwen Stefani song) In this particular tale, the killer was waiting for a conscience crisis, apparently. Ya know, I legit don’t remember what happened at the end of “I Know What You Did” or its sequel “I.. Read More