Miss Ashley Pants

The Zombies are coming! The Zombies are coming! So… what if Rudy Eugene and “Dong” the dude from China were indeed suddenly part of an ensuing zombie apocalypse about which nerds around the world are getting ‘tard ons over the mere concept? Richard of www.Richardland.com asked some time ago whether a zombieland would be a carnival for the corpsey-philes, or if the animation of deadsies would ruin the experience for.. Read More

“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!” If you read the Daily Mail, the first thing that probably just came to your mind when you saw that phrase was the name, “Samantha Brick”. After posting her column on how much attention she gets over her “looks”, and how many friends she loses over “being beautiful”, she saw some negative reception from women and men alike, quick to push her into a.. Read More

Get ready, ladies and gentlemen, because I’m about to ruin your day. Or spoil this movie for you, at least. For any other women who have ever been raped, violated, brutalized, or abused by a man, there’s nothing about “I Spit On Your Grave” that you won’t love. In fact, I’m quite sure most women lucky enough to have never endured such assault personally, will love it anyway. Why? Because,.. Read More

“For few to be immortal, many must die.” “No! If even one man must die, then no one should be able to be immortal!” The nice thing about “In Time”, is that you can just gather a trite takeaway message of “we should all treasure each day and loved ones and not waste bla bla…” On the other hand, the film also is one of those that makes you re-visit.. Read More

So Beyonce finally “f’real” gave birth yesterday, to daughter “Ivy Blue Carter”. (Not New Years Eve, as everyone trolled about online, until it went viral, with a wrong name and all). While I’m totally happy for the Power Couple and their firstborn, I couldn’t help but be annoyed by the article regarding quotes from hospital staff: I appreciate the need for the privacy of the superfamous. They are under a.. Read More

After years of therapy spent trying to convince myself it wasn’t really real… Damn you, YouTube! You see, when I was in first grade, what I recalled only as the “Good Touch/Bad Touch Bear” (an awareness video for children to avoid molestation) managed to leave an indelible and haunting stamp on my psyche well into adulthood. Long after I moved over to the “big kids’” school and started learning more.. Read More

I won’t usually do this… But the sea I see of camel toes and plumber cracks flooding the malls, salon, local gas station, etc. has forced me to bestow upon you a great, GREAT gift: So enjoy my generosity while it lasts. Specifically, this is solid advice for my HIGH HIPPED and LOW WAISTED beauties alike. So for those of you with short attention spans, keep reading. This is important:.. Read More

Most of us look crappy when we wake up. But do you ever have those fat, fat, FAT face days? Where the rest of your body is seemingly normal, but your face just won’t deflate? Ever have a bunch of them in a row? What’s going ON?! Well, for my girlfriends who aren’t bio dorks like myself, I’ll break it down nice and easy. The answer behind the “fat face”.. Read More

After seeing this gem… … I couldn’t help myself. xoxo

Sigh. Another romantic comedy, another cliche blog entry comprised of me saying “I’m not going to end up happy at the end like she does because life’s not really like a movie” Right? Eh… only in part. I mean “What’s Your Number” touches on as many “it’s funny ’cause it’s true” elements, as it does the typical montage-that-never-happens-IRL scenes. Yes, I’ve performed the opening scene before: Yes, I’ve eaten a.. Read More