Miss Ashley Pants

Happy New Year’s, lovies! For those staying in, enjoy…. And for those going out, be SAFE without even having to pay! The are SAFE and FREE WAYS to keep our FREEWAYS SAFE!! Click on Edie’s boobies below to read how, or dial the number: Wait, wait, wait… I can just see some of my sloppier friends fumbling around later to figure out what “taxi” is after last call. I’ll save.. Read More

“No, Homo, bro…” Since the dawn of… well, probably just midway through last year, guys have been utilizing this phrase to successfully express their approval of a same sex friend without the risk of emanating homosexuality. As I’ve heard the exchange of this perplexing pleasantry in various situations- from beer stained bar stools, as they lament over ex lovers to one another, to the weight room at the gym –.. Read More

Merry Christmas, all! Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll get onto my not-related-to-Xmas blog. I was just making use of the holiday in order render an effective pun out of the title… For the sake of being meta, I’m posting the rest of this admittedly would-be Facebook reply in a blog post. For those of you who are not Brett, Rich, or Megan, don’t feel lost if you.. Read More

It’s funny. And when I say “funny”, I mean…well, stupid. Allow me to back up a bit: Speaking of “stupid” versus “smart” (when it comes to technology), my cell phone’s genre is best described by the former of the two adjectives. While some have state-of-the-art communication devices, dubbed “smart” phones, I’ve the “dumbphone”. And, even if I didn’t, they’re always changing… For a while it was the “crackberry”. There was.. Read More

**Disclaimer: Sick Day, so it’s a short one…** Okay, I enjoy (laughing at) reality TV occasionally. I’ll admit it. Jersey Shore? I take it in doses. Housewives? I got bored of that. Kendra? Wait – does that still air? And finally: Kardashians? Eh… Background noise for a day like today when I’m sick/laid up in bed So, speaking of the Kardashians, the most recent show “K&K Take New York” had.. Read More

“I hate you all! You TRICKED me! YOU LIARS” “My stupid friend went telling my mom on me because she saw a post on facebook.” “I am never talking to any of you again!” “Why would a ‘friend’ choose my health over the fun loving me?!” “I’ll go after ONE more hit… Just lemme have one more…” Ahhh… Since the dawn of firewater and peyote, overindulgence has induced issues of.. Read More

“This is more addictive than crack!” It’s a phrase I’ve heard most girl friends and every guy I’ve dated say at least once before, as they shoveled some kind of food into their respective pie holes. In the nineties, I remember seeing jokes everywhere about “How chocolate is better than men/sex”. And women – older and younger alike – would gather around, giggling at the idea that they “weren’t the.. Read More

Laugh! Cry! Be horrified! Get annoyed! Be confused! Hate yourself! Get aroused! Be motivated! Want… something! I realize this one is “old news”. But as more and more of the controversial ads pop up lately (ie – Miu Miu, Drop Dead, and H&M with their “too-skinny” models), only to be retracted by the demand of some special interest group, some might beg the question, “Why bother? They must know it’ll.. Read More

So, you screwed up. The natural reaction is to apologize. It’s great to be able to own up to your wrongdoings – many cannot. But do you mean it? My last blog entry, might cause many to ask even more questions about apologies: What *is* a proper apology? How do you know if someone means it? Why isn’t an apology enough? In short, what lies behind those timeless words… “I’m.. Read More

Our dear friend Richard (of www.richardland.com) – ever able to turn every day life into an adventure in comedy – recently flipped on the camera in order to capture the musings of his young nephew, Riley, on a not-so-rainy day: (Click to view) Uncle Rich, video camera in hand, and his seven (going-on-twenty-seven) year old accomplice begin chatting about random topics, when Riley suddenly cuts himself short as he glances.. Read More