Duh, why didn’t I think of this…? So, not terribly long ago, I wondered which actor could possibly do the Beast justice in the upcoming Disney live-action fairy tale remake. My last blog on this expressed my usual eyeroll-smirk reaction to these sortsa live-action things (being forced to see Phantom of the Opera felt like all my senses had taken a holiday at Guantanamo). But, it being among my favorite.. Read More
Silence of the Lambs: Why I’d’ve kicked ass as Agent Starling or the Fat Chick
While dancing in the mirror to Goodbye Horses and clutching a banana between my thighs today, I realized something. “Who knew penis envy was such an excellent adductor workout?” View post on imgur.com Once I got over my lack o’ phallus tears, three other things regarding Silence of the Lambs occurred to me – after having seen the movie for the quadrillionth time this week. The first had to do.. Read More
On deck documentaries: “Approaching the Elephant”
Next on deck for films that won’t be a total waste of time to watch? The documentary on “free schools” called “Approaching The Elephant”. Back in high school, I remember seeing this one Justin Long movie where he creates a college based around, well, basically whatever the kids who come there feel like doing. It sounds like a fun idea in theory (and, technically, not terribly different from how actual.. Read More
What really happened in “The Guest”…
Ever watch a good film… but it leaves you feeling like you, I dunno, missed something? That’s how I felt after I finished watching “The Guest” a week or two ago. It was a brilliant thriller – especially for one of those movies that didn’t seem to be highly promoted. The the lead actor, Dan Stevens, plays his role of psychopathic secret-soldier-government-experiment-gone-wrong almost too well and the overall ambient mood.. Read More
Clearly, now I’ll have to see this disgusting movie.
“The next scene features our protagonist as she tromps through a dirty underground toilet, sloshing her feet through muck and rubbing her ass all around the seat, which is covered in piss and other unidentifiable stains.” Oh, good. I was just wondering what sweet, romantic movie I could take my Valentine to see this year. And now I know – “Wetlands” – is definitely it. I saw an article about.. Read More
Cinema Binge Pt. 4: “Interstellar” was def the I.V.’d meth in this bender.
Finally on my #HollywoodCinematicOverdoseBingeRelapseIRegretDoingThisWeekend was: “Interstellar”. And to cap off this a smorgasbord binge, this film was the amphetamine cherry topping to that smack Sparks flick that had just dumbed me into a coma. My brain went from subdued to singularity implosion the moment I took the wormhole from the galaxy of RomDrama genre to quantum universes and such. That said, it’s the only movie I watched without having to.. Read More
Cinema Binge Pt. 3: “American Sniper” (I get a shame pass; I read the book)
In the midst of my shameful weekend movie binge, I finally watched “American Sniper”. Actually, this one warrants my one-shame-free pass. I mean, I had to watch it… I read the book and in my culture, it’s a sin not to compare to two things. It’s even worse of a sin to writer-kind if you do watch – to not write about it after – ya know, to bring the.. Read More
Popdates for your moribund souls.
I hesitate to use “celebrity” and “news” in the same sentence. But as my social media feeds slowly become inundated with stories and snapshots of things I never asked to see in the first place, I can’t help but feel bewildered about a few things that make the entirety of reality feel like it’s unraveling. Thus, I’m sharing a few pop-dates with you this week. (pop updates). It’s like pop.. Read More
How “Gone Girl” really ends.
With my brain in overdrive, I was in the mood for a nice mindless movie the other night. So, I settled for the thriller “Gone Girl”. (Because everyone said to and I’m easily manipulated). My review is kinda half-and-half on this film. I suppose what started me off a little sour was the familiar plot: beautiful, blonde, femme-fatale marries a guy who owns a bar, everyone kinda hates her, and….. Read More
“Corpse Accordion” coming soon…
Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. I just stumbled across the most epic ingredients for a horror movie narrative. Via this ridiculous art sculpture I thought was video-shopped: My head was so shocked at the sight of this slinky head that I had to watch it three times: once to be wowed by the sorcery without trying to figure it out, once again to process what was going on, and then.. Read More