“Is that a phone in your pocket…or do you just have a really crooked penis?” Everyone heard about #BENDGATE by now? If not: the new iphone6 is… you guessed it… bending. (But only if you’re dumb enough to slip it into your skinny jeans like a billfold.) Not you, cell phone. You’re cordlessly uninvited #zing Honestly, I don’t see a problem here. Nothing but good news for me. As someone.. Read More
Finally, my Beauty and the Beast furniture is on its way.
Thank god. Robotic furniture is finally here. Well, almost. Ever since I was a geeky little kid with a ten year plan of becoming a pretty princess who stole money from the people and stowed it away in an offshore account to later access when they stormed down my castle and I had to abscond to the islands to live out the rest of my life in secrecy, I wanted.. Read More
JIBO the creepy robot wants to be part of your family.
JIBO – the robot who wants to be the Alice to your Brady Bunch – isn’t out yet. But they’re sure trying they’re hardest to get you excited about it. I say “Alice” – not the Jetsons’ “Rosie” because they’re really trying to make him sound less like a machine meant to do your bidding, and more like a dude who might host a Nickelodeon show so that it can.. Read More
Nuclear nope news: Child-like robots for child molestors
Ugh. I didn’t want to touch this story with a ten foot blacked-out-window van with candy inside. But seeing as its trending, I’ll say this: “Normal” sex robots already exist. Now, some creepers would like to fill creeper needs with “childlike sex robots” The aim? “to rehabilitate offenders the same way you’d give methadone to an addict.” Right. Yeah. Ya know, I was addicted to painkillers once. It wasn’t fun… Read More
Google dude says robots will take our jobs.
Google dude Larry Page estimates 50% of American jobs will be replaced by robots. In the next decade or two. That’s like – a lot. And not in that much time. While the first humans to get shitcanned and supplanted by R2D2 will be tax preparers, librarians, and telemarketers, even jobs like mine might become obsolete (can you at least pretend to look surprised?). In fact some online articles from.. Read More
Furtive fabric is a press-impervious invisibility cloak
What if Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak could hide what we can feel? Naw, dude. I meet – physically feel. With your hands and stuff. Before you start mocking my Hogwart’s fantasy, I’ll have you know that see-through cloaks have been researched and created already. Some even surmise that the military’s already using it. From figuring out ways to stay stealth when their boots hit the ground to hiding whole tanks.. Read More
Hoverbikes are coming!
You know that stupid Back-to-the-Future meme that keeps trolling us? The one about “this is the date the DeLorean did that thing in the movie with the time travel”? Well, whatever it was, you can forget it. Because the only date that’s gonna matter in real life from now on is 2017. Why? Because that’s the year when hoverbikes (no, not boards – sorry) will finally be available for me.. Read More
Most lifelike android: kill it with fire.
Well… the world’s most lifelike android’s been created. …aaand I’m flucking terrified of it. After sitting through the whole video making this face… … I tried to sort out my feelings. And speaking of facial expressions, that just might be what makes this damned Geminoid (which means “twin”) thing even creepier. Using these mechanical devices called actuators, the robot is provided a more lifelike aura by being gifted all those.. Read More
I can smell your text.
Remember that prank Google played a while back? About scratching and sniffing your iphone or something? Well, it’s not so far-fetched a concept anymore. Some nutty professors over at the Olfactive Project have come up with a device called the oPhone. And, as demonstrated by this dude (who looks like Vincent D’Onofrio and Mark Ruffalo’s lovechild), you can send something as recognizable as espresso via text. (Wait…Who types like that?.. Read More
1’m a real b0y! (bot passes Turing test)
When I hear something like “computer tricks man into thinking it’s 13 year old boy”, I can’t help but be extremely curious about the surrounding context (I always wondered if they hired him because he looks like a perfect mix of Ted Bundy and Ryan Seacreast[‘s former face]?) Apparently, a robot at University of Redding passed the “Turing Test”. Named after Alan Turing, the test can only be passed if.. Read More